i'll show you the door

2004-01-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

notebook

[listening to: Radiohead - The Tourist]

some sink and some lay

2004-01-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

I haven't written here in a while. Anyways, nothing much has been happening. Okay. I'd like to buy this shirt. See you next week.
***
[listening to: The Anniversary - The Ghost Of The River]

laugh hard, it's a long ways to the bank

2004-01-11T14:52:00.000-08:00

---
[listening to: Modest Mouse - Paper Thin Walls]

2003-12-28T18:48:00.000-08:00

past and pending

2003-12-12T18:53:00.000-08:00

And so I've gotten a livejournal. If anyone reading this could take a short and painless walk over to it and comment at all, it'd be greatly appreciated by the writer. It's been a nice few months here, and I guess I really have changed since then, if only in a small increment. My livejournal will probably be my main one now, but if I'm ever feeling a bit lonely I might come back over. So this is to say that I'll be over there, and not over here. Anyone who frequents, those poor few, will be happy to know that I'll be updating with regularity there (I'm not sure how many I'm addressing here). If you have a livejournal, add me baby. Add me. And it's not finished yet.
***

i'm not growing up, i'm just burning out

2003-12-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

Hello, my silent reader. I'm home at the normal time today, because I have two tests tomorrow and despite all else, I just might want to do well on them. In the morning and afternoon, I'll be taking a biology and a math test, respectively. Let me point out that these are both pain-in-the-ass tests. But nevertheless I decided to pass on photography club this week.

Been in a peculiar and particularly sunny mood today, which I'm sure has everything to do with the current weather. And the obligatory not much has been happening lately forebearing used before all likewise obligatory posts in all LIKEWISE obligatory journals must, reluctantly, be used here as well. I think I might have to say that high school gym hockey is one of my faves, if you'll pardon the term. For that half hour I go crazy and run all over the fucking place. Today I stayed in goal for half the time and talked with someone.

I finally picked up something I know I'll enjoy reading. It's a sort of analysis of J.D. Salinger's (not yet ended) life and the works he's written. Not for everyone, but I'm partial to anything Salinger. Somebody wrote their goddam name, address, and phone number in random places in the book. In almost indecipharable writing.

There were two newspapers, one package, and one poster sitting outside the door when I got home. I'm pretty sure the poster's a christmas gift for me from a relative somewhere. I don't think I'll open it just yet. The other package is a goddamn sweater or something from L.L. Bean, which is most probably not mine.

I put in Dookie on my new stereo, and when When I Come Around started, I swear it sounded like a fucking explosion. But a good one.

The Nick Drake box set is on my list.
***
[listening to: Green Day - Emenius Sleepus l lyrics]
[mood: cheerful ]

strange face, with your eyes

2003-12-10T21:51:00.000-08:00

Canon in D, what can I say. We played it: we played the hell out of it. There have been little ten minute showers off and on throughout the day, weather-wise. I'm not sure about tomorrow. I'm tired, and every minute I'm awake is a minute too long. But there are things to study for. And I guess I'll go do that.
I'm getting a livejournal soon.
***

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

2003-12-09T17:46:00.000-08:00

I finished The Great Gatsby. I have mixed feelings about it. It was very well written, though a bit empty in places. It was a good read, though. I'm surprised I had enough free time to finish it, what with schoolwork and all.

I'm limping like a bastard here. The huge bump on my shin started when Shane decided to start kicking me like a stupid fool. I told him to stop, of course, but he wouldn't, so I had no choice but to join in. And it all ended with a huge bruise on my left shin, right square in the middle. We had the pushup and pullup practice test today in p.e. I did all the pushups but only forty-eight situps. There was a chair sitting in the middle of the gym floor, so I decided to jump over it. I had a running start and everything, but I got thrown off at the last second and ended up hitting my leg on the chair in the exact same spot as my bruise. (I jumped over it eventually.) God, it hurts though.

Even my own mother says she didn't recognize me with my haircut. I'll admit it is unseasonably short. But that's what beanies are for.
***
[listening to: Harvey Danger - Wooly Muffler l lyrics]
[mood: content ]

under the rocks are snails and we can fill our pockets

2003-12-08T20:51:00.000-08:00

I've never had so many haircut comments. But I guess it's justifiable; I got a lot of the goddam stuff chopped off on sunday, and noticeably so. The second grading period hailed a 3.33 GPA that, when averaged with the first grading period's 3.67, comes out as an overall 3.5, which is not bad. I'm beginning to like my history class again, in large part due to our watching Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai in class today. As a result we don't have homework either, but that's not the point. The word is that it's going to rain tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to that, but at least there was sunshine today. My new stereo is fantastic. I have to fight the urge to embrace it in my goddam arms.

Rest in peace John Lennon.
***
[listening to: John Lennon - Watching The Wheels l lyrics]
[mood: cheerful ]

2003-12-08T20:50:00.000-08:00

You are a banana! Good job, captain obvious.

which rejected character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

it's never sounded this good

2003-12-07T15:56:00.000-08:00

Early Christmas presents rock the proverbial house. And I mean that fully. I just got a new stereo from Circuit city as an early gift and I can honestly say it's the coolest thing in my room. It's infinitely better than my old one. Get this: you can program the name of a hundred cds into the memory (I'm on cd number three). And it has surround sound, bass and treble adjustments, a remote control, detached speakers, sleep timer, alarm, date and time, and a lit display. The cds go in vertically, and the front is clear, so you can watch it spin. It's really quiet too; you can hardly tell it's on. I don't even mind that I won't be getting much else for Christmas. This is the most awesome thing I've ever owned in my life (perhaps I exaggerate, but it is damn cool). I also got a haircut and... that was good too. My head feels so much lighter. I keep shaking it back and forth and nothing happens. On a less exciting note, I finally got a calculator as well. Texas Instruments, my friend. It's all you'll ever need. Unless you want to graph. In that case mine is useless.

The pictures don't do it justice.

***
[listening to: Weezer - Say It Ain't So l lyrics]
[mood: jubilant ]

you've got too much to wear on your sleeves, it has too much to do with me

2003-12-05T21:26:00.000-08:00

I was taking the pessimist's view yesterday. But everything that seemed significant before really holds little importance now. I did not eat lunch alone. I did not become irritated with anyone. And I didn't have a nervous breakdown. So it seems like a good day. I'm listening to the Shins now and marvelling at how good my guitar sounds now that it's been restrung. I'm going to retell an event today that, if analyzed correctly, could probably lead to a very thorough explanation of everything I'm thinking about. [requires new paragraph]

It's afterschool and I am walking around with a friend. He says he is going to go meet someone out front, but I want to go to the vending machine first. My original intent is to get there and then walk all the way around from the outside to get back to the front entrance using some crazy road. I want to see if a girl is there. But we arrive at the vending machines and I figure I might as well just get something while we're there. I don't have any money. Well, I have a few coins, but the only thing I can get is gum, and who wants fucking gum? Asking around, I gather up seventy-five cents, and my eye is now on the 85 cent Orangina. By this time, the room is empty. I settle on the minute maid orange soda, reluctantly, and buy it and pour it into my water bottle. I drink it on the way home and it actually tastes pretty good. When I get home I find a dime in my pocket.
***

***
[listening to: Coldplay - The Scientist (acoustic) l lyrics]
[mood: mellow ]

where did i go

2003-12-04T22:14:00.000-08:00

The inanity of the words and actions of every single person at my school is starting to drive me crazy. I can hardly find someone that I like, much less a person I admire. It sounds very unreasonable and pretentious of me, I know. But it seems as if everyone is giving me zero reasons to like them and two reasons to hate them. And feelings of abandonment aren't so great either. My god, the emo, the emo. I can't understand it. The thing is, I want to make friends, but at the same time there's nobody I'd like to be friends with. I guess that makes sense in a way. There're a lot of things that have been bugging me today, buddy. And it feels strange talking about them. But I think I'm having lunch alone tomorrow, like on the first day of school.

In the past month, I've torn two shirts running around the house.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - Amsterdam]
[mood: lonely ]

overexposure is the key

2003-12-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

Incidentally, I just got home, and I'm very tired. Wednesday is yet again the day that the music club meets and plays, and play we did. In fact, we played the goddamn theme from Aladdin, if you can believe it. But it wasn't bad at all; it was enjoyable in a strange way. And people actually listened to my request for Canon in D. But the whole thing went on later than the initial plan, and I ended up leaving room 74 after five o'clock (even the hall lights were turned off, for god's sakes). I have a real itch to start up a band now. And I think it'd be good.

And the fog. It was everywhere, and there was plenty of it. Walking home at five during December in San Francisco is pretty much like walking home at ten. It was almost completely dark, and I couldn't've seen a thing, had it not been for the streetlights. But the fog was damp, too (though actually quite refreshing). And halfway back it started sprinkling. I guess that's the whole of it. It sounded a lot more dramatic when I pictured the description in my head five minutes ago.

But now it's time to do some homework. And I found out yesterday that I'm in an honors class [fuck, this may be hard to believe, but it's usually referred to as advanced algebra, and I've never really wondered what the H in Accelerated Math 1H stands for, anyways (so, back to the actual sentence)], which means that my weighted GPA will be higher, and that's what it all comes back to, isn't it? That number. I got something like a B on my latest math test (we don't know for sure because she hasn't put the letter grades on them yet, but let's just say I got a 41/51 and leave it at that), and it was neither above or below my expectations. And today's Biology test was exceptionally easy. I asked Shane and Jonathan about it afterwards, and they didn't find it particularly unchallenging. So I guess I've been studying pretty well lately. I really need to remember to throw the fucking can of potpourri in Thomas's gym locker away. It was fun when I was spraying other people's things, but I don't find it very funny when my lock is soaked with the stuff. My hands still reek of it.

Fuck it, let's dance.
***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Paper Boats l lyrics]
[mood: drained ]

go outside more often

2003-12-02T16:47:00.000-08:00

it's nice

now excuse me while I study

***

and how long would it take me to walk across the united states, all alone

2003-12-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

Been raining all day, off and on. First it sprinkles, then it pours, then it sprinkles, and then it stops. And then it starts all over again. But I never felt that it was raining hard enough to get out the umbrella, so I never did. And I don't feel the least bit sick. There was a sub in Biology. His name was Harper. He said, "Call me by my first name." So I did.

I got a lot of that "you turn in a certain direction and see someone staring at you, but when you look at them they turn away" stuff today. Maybe they're just looking in that direction and it just so happens that you think they're staring at you. Maybe they were actually staring at you. But you'll never know. Or something.

It was raining like hell, though.

***
[listening to: Jimmy Eat World - Blister l lyrics]
[mood: confused ]

this time it's on my own, minutes from somewhere else

2003-11-30T16:49:00.000-08:00

It hasn't stopped raining all day. I only went outside once to go get Clarity by Jimmy Eat World and rechargeable batteries for the camera. My spanish thanksgiving assignment didn't take that long to type up, although I still need to draw pictures. I'm tired. And it just so happens that I'm wearing a very itchy wool sweater.
***
[listening to: Jimmy Eat World - Goodbye Sky Harbor l lyrics]
[mood: lazy ]

2003-11-30T13:25:00.000-08:00

[listening to: Jimmy Eat World - For Me This Is Heaven l lyrics]

2003-11-29T12:59:00.000-08:00

it's completely fucking blank

I have too much goddamn toothpaste on my clothes.
***
[listening to: Mason Williams - Classical Gas]

2003-11-29T00:58:00.000-08:00

camera!!

2003-11-28T16:35:00.000-08:00

Thank you mother, thank you father. They rule all, because they bought me a fucking new camera!! I'm so excited. It has automatic flash, 3.3 megapixels, 4x digital zoom, and a bunch of other awesome things. It records video, too. The new one beats out the old one by bounds. I won't be expecting much for Christmas. I'd be against post-Thanksgiving shopping if there wasn't so much great stuff to be had. The parents bought an exercise bike too, which I just burned thirteen calories on. I'm feeling kind of woosy.

2003-11-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

I look slightly crazy.

old camera

new camera

You can't really tell, but there's a noticeable difference, believe me.

call me freaky, call me childish, call me ishmael

2003-11-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

The parents are out shopping. It is, after all, the day after Thanksgiving. I'm sitting at the computer, trying to look cool. And might I say, I look pretty damn cool. Thanksgiving was pretty okay. We got there at around three and ate at five or six, since my uncle has to go to work today. The meal was actually pretty good, albeit the absence of stuffing, though there'll be plenty of that at Christmas. I only had two plates; I didn't feel up for the third one. The rest of the time was spent in my cousin's room, playing gamecube and going on the internet. The whole thing wasn't very memorable, but it was okay. I had pumpkin pie, and that made everything great.

I got to borrow Super Smash Bros. for N64, which is another example of me being very behind the times. But Nintendo 64 is the best I can do right now, and I'm not even into video games that much. Add to that the fact that it was free.

I'm listening to Harvey Danger at god knows how loud, and it's safe to say that I'm wide awake. I think I just might take today's opportunity to purchase everything that I've been wanting for the past few weeks or so, which is actually a lot. Cds, guitar things, books, movies, a camera, etc. I always feel very tired when the sun isn't out and the sky is just blank. Or maybe it's just the tryptophan.

Definitely one of the coolest sites I've ever seen.
***
[listening to: Harvey Danger - Old Hat l lyrics]
[mood: awake ]

2003-11-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

You are Donatello...You are highly intelligent and
industrious, and considered the
"brains" of the operation. You're a
serious nerd, but you're still cool!

Which Ninja Turtle Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

"I feel like I'm dying"

2003-11-26T20:43:00.000-08:00

And that's exactly what I meant when I said it many times during the day, too. Being sick sucks, but being sick at school sucks the most. I knew that if I tried to get a hold of my parents, they wouldn't be able to come pick me up, and I don't think you're allowed to leave by yourself. So I struggled through the day that way, most of the time suppressing sneezes and rubbing the hell out of my eyes. The only thing that seemed to help was lying down, which I did several times. I can't explain how happy I was to find a box of kleenex in math class. Taking two Benadryl afterschool helped, and I'm pretty much over it all now, but I still have a bit of a runny nose. I think the whole thing had to do with my allergies, but either way I'm glad it's gone.

We played a religious song in musician's club, with the title of Jesus-something, which I can't exactly remember. But it was pretty cool because Max was there and I wasn't the only guitarist like last time. The song was okay; it was nothing particularly special. I need a new guitar, something that sounds a little better than the one I have now. Or maybe I should just get new strings. Ten dollars seems a more reasonable amount to spend than several hundred.

There's been much talk about turkey. I don't think I could ever eat a meal of tofurkey. It just wouldn't stay down. Although it's conveniently boneless, you just can't create a meat substitute that tastes good. And I heard that turkeys are force-fed, which is why we shouldn't eat them anymore. But I don't think anyone would listen to that. I won't. We're having thanksgiving at my uncle's house, and we have to be there by four.
***
[listening to: Weezer - In The Garage (acoustic) l lyrics]
[mood: creative ]

no more california champagne

2003-11-25T21:25:00.000-08:00

I burned my goddamn hand on the iron. Only slightly, but it still hurts. It left a little mark. I need a bandaid. Every time I bend my fingers and feel pain, I'll be forced to think back to the stupidity that led to me hurting myself for no reason.

I had one of my smallest homework loads of the year today: two subjects. So I'm done now and I'm free. Free from work and free to do as I please. There was a drawn out argument with the parents about appreciation, which all started when I was late going to the kitchen for dinner. There's something wrong with me; I couldn't stop smiling. Well, I wasn't outwardly smiling, but I was smiling inside. Not because anything was particularly funny, and I'm still not sure exactly why. I figured that taking it all lightheartedly would be the best way to go through the whole thing.

Oftentimes during the day I really feel like I'm insane. It's hard to put into words, but it's like all normalcy leaves me, and all I have left is a strange feeling of not knowing exactly where I am or what's going on. Of course, if I was insane I wouldn't actually be aware of it, but you get what I mean. And I keep mutterring things to myself under my breath. Things that, at first, I thought nobody could notice, much less hear, but it's become apparent that they not only take notice, but also find it very strange. And staring off in the distance is still a constant.

Finding out a person's name who you've seen all the time but never known anything about somehow makes things much more mundane.
***
[listening to: Harvey Danger - Sad Sweetheart Of The Rodeo lyrics]
[mood: optimistic ]

leave me where i am, i'm only sleeping

2003-11-24T18:08:00.000-08:00

Substitute teachers get no respect at all. Not that there's any reason for that, but they don't. All the substitutes I've had this year have just been really strange people with no control over the classes they were teaching. The sub we had in Spanish was a guy we'd had before, sort of a pushover. Everyone walked in and saw him and pretty soon there was an insane amount of noise going on. Fifteen minutes into class, a group of people just leaves. They said they were going to the library to finish working on their project. The guy actually believed them. Even I left ten minutes early. As soon as I'd gone I knew it was a bad idea, because I had nothing planned. It was fifteen minutes until my next class. I took a walk around the campus, freezing my ass off and wishing I'd brought my goddamned hat.

Really. I just remembered that modern world homework is due on fucking Wednesday. (I skipped the exclamation marks, so as not to seem too excited.) I've decided my teacher is a bitch. We watched a film on Friday and we were told to take notes, and I, being me, decided not to. This was some kind of mortal sin, because she got really pissed off today when she went around and checked and I, along with three other people, told her I hadn't done it. She even said, "I am so pissed off right now." Literally. I guess it's my fault that I hadn't done something we were supposed to have done. I even took out a piece of paper during the film, but I had nothing to write about. I'm supposed to get the notes from someone in my class, and they'll get extra credit for it. Bitch.
***
woke up, fell out of bed
dragged a come across my head

This inspired me to use a comb for the first time in months, but nothing changed.

Everyone was quite irritable today.
***
[listening to: Beatles - A Day In The Life l lyrics]
[mood: satisfied ]

How you get a rude and a reckless?

2003-11-23T22:06:00.000-08:00

Don't you be so crude and a feckless

I just watched the Prisoner of Azkaban trailer. It's so exciting. Is it necessary to prolong the excitement until summer 2004? I don't think I can be excited about something for over half a year. Unless it's... very exciting. or something.

I should study spanish now if I want to get to sleep on time and wake up without having to rush like a motherfucker. I learned Norwegian Wood, I'm Looking Through You, and I'm Only Sleeping. All good songs. That I can now play.

I've been racking my brain for things to write about lately but it doesn't seem to work. I need to do something. I'm speechless.
***
[listening to: The Clash - Rudie Can't Fail l lyrics]
[mood: cheerful ]

2003-11-23T14:51:00.000-08:00

you are cezanne!

which impressionist artist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

we've got our own brand of hyperspace

2003-11-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

This is supposed to be the near-freezing night the weathermen have been talking about all week. It's 45 degrees. I'm wearing three shirts; the heater's not on. My body feels fine, excluding my hands. My right hand feels especially cold. And I'd like to say, "Bring it on, motherfuckers!!"

Eating breakfast at ten, lunch at two, and dinner at nine is very weird, though in a strange way it all fits together. I want to go to sleep; I want to spend the next ten hours lying in bed. I got a lot of schoolwork done. There should be a more comfortable chair in front of the computer. How many Beatles songs did I learn today? Not enough.
***
note: (sunday) I take back what I said. It's goddamn freezing.
***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Hyperspace l lyrics]
[mood: apathetic ]

and i can't find myself again

2003-11-21T22:39:00.000-08:00

i was pretty down, but after watching joan of arcadia and playing sugarcult's lost in you over and over again i'm okay. i want to type an entire entry in lowercase and see how it looks. i was supposed to watch fight club afterschool at a club, but i guess something happened and they had to cancel it. that sort of thing always happens to me. i can't believe how cold it was at times today. it looked sunny, almost hot, this morning, but as soon as i stepped outside i knew that bringing a jacket was smart. and i walked home in just a t-shirt, freezing all the way. i was very insistent that i not put on my coat. i got an 89 on my lab book, about ten points better than last time, which is a massive improvement. i have a b- in accel., which i just slipped by with, and i'm pretty sure i have a's in modern world, world lit, and gym. i have no idea about spanish, but i'm hoping it's a b.

***
i was feeling very giddy jogging around the track.

okay, can i ask you a question real quick? imagine you're walking down a street, and you see me coming towards you, half-running, half-walking. and i'm wearing this hat (referring to beanie). okay, you're on your way to bank of america, let's say, to cash a check that's in your hand, in your pocket. it was pay day or something, okay? and you're going to go cash the check at the bank. and then you see me coming up to you on this street. and it's pretty dark. no, no, it's an alleyway. at 9... :42 p.m. would you be afraid if you saw me coming?

i really did look badass in that thing, but it gave me an insane amount of hat hair.
***
it's around 10:30 and i'm going to take a shower.
***
[listening to: Sugarcult - Lost In You]
[mood: calm ]

six days went by, trying to forget her face

2003-11-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

My lip's been bleeding a lot lately, off and on, though I have no idea why. Maybe the dry weather. Maybe there's just something wrong with my mouth. Maybe I need to use more chapstick. For lunch I had two pop tarts, a bag of pretzel mix, and two salami sticks, all from the vending machines, also known as the snack bar. And water. A lot of water. I started refilling at water fountains, and I drank three whole 750mL bottles. I need, need a digital camera, and soon. I'm itching to do something creative and interesting and when that day comes and I've got a camera all to myself, I will take fifty pictures a day. With no guarantee that any of them will be very good, of course, but I'll be trying. Tomorrow is a 9:20 day, so I'll be antsy until then again. And I'll be staying up late because I don't have anything to study for and I have nothing else to do!1@!2 If you noticed, I put everything into one unrelated paragraph. I hate beind de Guiche in our acting out of Cyrano in World Lit. Christ, I carry a plastic sword and play the role of a middle-aged soldier. Nobody in my group is making it much easier, either. The first part of How's It Going To Be before the guitar kicks in is great.
***
wouldn't it be weird if vincent had short hair?

Said by a girl who's only known me since ninth grade and doesn't know about the time in seventh grade when I decided I wanted to get a short haircut and, after it was finished and I'd gone home, I proceeded to fix it up with an electric razor, resulting in bald spots on the sides of my head, which the teachers took as my wanting to make a statement, when in reality they couldn't have been more wrong. I think I'll get a haircut soon. I keep having to shake it out of my eyes. I found a beanie that muggers wear. I'm wearing it to school tomorrow, which will be good.
***
I can't believe somebody actually voted on it
***
[listening to: Sugarcult - Lost In You l lyrics]
[mood: chipper ]

she had turned from a sound, well i must have cried out loud

2003-11-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

I went to the dentist for a check-up, and it was hell. A half hour of scraping and grinding. The lady used some sort of tool that emitted sound waves to shatter the plaque. I couldn't really see it, but judging from the feel, I think it was sharp and it had a high-pitched sound. My gums are killing me right now. They're bleeding like hell, which was intended, because she acknowledged it and treated it as a commonplace happening. I wasn't surprised. How could I not be bleeding after she dug all around my gums with a sharp object? In the midst of all this she started talking to me about school, and she actually stopped working after she asked a question so that I could answer. I tried to reply with something well thought out, but all I could manage was a nod and a slight "mmph." The flossing hurt a lot too. She somehow found a way to make my gums even more painful.

We walked to pizza hut for lunch and got a large one-topping pizza, which was split, money-wise and food-wise, four ways. (One topping pizzas are lame, by the way.) I hate carrying my bag around everywhere. And there's not enough time to use my locker, since it's far from any of my other classes. I think I'm developing a back problem. I tried to sit very straight today, though. It feels like somebody socked me in the back. And then ran away.

We're exempt from friday's mile run if we go watch the football game tomorrow, but I'd really rather run.
***
Watching this tiny bug crawl across my screen gives me an eerie (sp?) sense of power.

Thanksgiving plans are beginning to sound kind of unexciting.
***
[listening to: Phantom Planet - All Over Again l lyrics]
[mood: creative ]

i got my body and my mind on the same page

2003-11-18T19:30:00.000-08:00

First let me say I am out of things to write. We've had so many writing assignments that my creativity is going on overload!!@!1@1 Well, no. I thought my essay for World Lit was pretty good, and the lady who came to our class to teach for our poetry course read the poem I wrote today. It was about van Gogh's painting Sunflowers. Perhaps you've seen it. She said it was beautiful. That's very nice until she says it to everyone else too.

Yeah, nothing much has been happening. I found this bike light in the shape of a star. It's one of those lights that flashes when you press the button. It makes a very eye-catching belt buckle. It was actually pretty warm today, but I think the rain's coming in a few days.
***
The girl who always calls me grandpa because of my button up old person sweater nearly mauled me in the library yesterday. I was just sitting there listening to music and doing math. I couldn't hear anything, so when she half jumped on me I'm surprised I didn't shout my fucking lungs out.

My grades are getting pretty average. I'm trying, but it doesn't seem to help. It's always the same. I do well in the subjects that I like and I slip by in those that I don't. You can't tell me that's not okay. And it's comforting to know that I will always have an A in gym.
***
BiGgYbOwWowJoN: y u think shes good lookin?
BiGgYbOwWowJoN: want her on your balls?
***
[listening to: Phantom Planet - Something Is Wrong l lyrics]
[mood: happy ]

2003-11-18T16:02:00.000-08:00

take the nerd test.

and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.

Lisa's kissing men like a long walk home

2003-11-17T21:23:00.000-08:00

When the music stops
Take a tip from me, don't go through the park
When you're on your own, it's a long walk home

If they follow you
Don't look back
Like Dylan in the movies
On your own
If they follow you
It's not your money that they're after boy it's you

Pure easy listening, settle down
On the pillow soft when they've all gone home
You can concentrate on the ones you love
You can concentrate, hey, now they've gone

If they follow you
Don't look back
Like Dylan in the movies
On your own
If they follow you
It's not your money that they're after boy it's you

Yeah you're worth the trouble and you're worth the pain
And you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I will love you over
I will love you

If they follow you
Don't look back
Like Dylan in the movies
On your own
If they follow you
Tenderly you turn the light off in your room
***
I'm working on an essay again. No time for things.
I'm getting The Sims and Tony Hawk 4 on Thanksgiving. Illegitimate copies of course. What else?
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - Like Dylan In The Movies]
[mood: exanimate ]

fox in the snow, where did you go?

2003-11-16T18:00:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and all drowsy from Benadryl. I can't even walk at all because I'm so dizzy; I don't feel like taking a nap. I'm having a particularly pleasing feeling, though. I bet this is what being crazy feels like.
***
Belle and Sebastian has to be some of the best music I've heard in a long, long while. I need to get some more cd's and listen to more music.

I just realized these pumas are pretty jocky shoes and not something that I'd usually wear. Maybe they'll look better dirty.

If it rains tomorrow I'll be sick forever.
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - The Boy Done Wrong Again l lyrics]
[mood: sick ]

We lay on the bed there, kissing just for practice

2003-11-15T21:24:00.000-08:00

Could we please be objective? Cause the other boys are queuing up behind us.

I left my home today. And then I came back. But not before buying things. Many things were not necessarily necessary but were things that I've wanted for a long time. I originally went to Macy's with the plan of buying shoes, but I didn't find any that were good. So I went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of blue Puma's that rock like a motherfucker. But they cost sixty dollars. I can't remember the last time I spent that much on a pair of shoes (or rather I can't remember the last time my parents gave me that much money to spend on a pair of shoes). I've never owned three pairs of shoes at the same time. Not due to lack of money, but because I never had the desire for more than two pairs of shoes. They're really nice, though. But still I feel as if I should've bought something cheaper. My chucks were only thirty dollars.

I also got If You're Feeling Sinister by Belle and Sebastian, which I heard was their best record. I can't say if it is or not, but it's definitely good. My dad also bought me a photography book for six dollars that's pretty extensive. All of this was purchased at Border's.

There was an incident with super glue this morning. I tried to glue part of my bag back together, but ended up dripping the glue on the carpet. In my mad dash to clean it up it somehow got all over my fingertips, and after thorough washing and vigorous rubbing, a thin layer of dried glue is still stuck to two of my left hand fingers. It didn't burn or anything, but it feels weird and I hope it eventually rubs off.
***
Fuck you CNET.
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - Seeing Other People l lyrics]
[mood: satisfied ]

I'll be lucky if I don't catch a cold.

2003-11-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

I was about five minutes away from my house, walking. The mp3 player was on and I was listening to Phantom Planet. Lonely Day started, and just at that moment I felt it start to sprinkle. Pretty soon it was raining in a substantial amount, and since I was so close to home, I decided not to get out an umbrella or anything. The rain got heavier as the song progressed. When it got to the "lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely. lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely... " part (when it really picks up), it started pouring like a motherfucker. (Keep in mind that the sun was shining throughout.) I was at my house by now, thoroughly soaked, and I started going up the stairs. At almost the exact moment that I turned the key and pushed the door open, the song and the rain both stopped. So I stood in the doorway, completely wet, staring straight ahead and wondering if I was just crazy. I've seen rain before. But I've never actually seen rain.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - Trouble (acoustic) lyrics]
[mood: accomplished ]

everyone loves a situation

2003-11-13T19:46:00.000-08:00

The tests weren't that hard. I know I got some questions wrong, but I know I didn't get them all wrong. I'd like to know if it was entirely necessary to spend all of lunchtime in the library doing our lab books?! We only spent ten minutes eating, for christ's sake. Nobody who has an over an hour of lunch time should spend ten minutes eating.

I met with my counselor today, Mr. David. He's pretty cool actually. It was just a routine meeting that he has with everyone. We talked about music and movies and things; it was a pretty short meeting. He likes Phish. And he hasn't seen the Matrix yet, but he heard that it sucks.

Someone decided to spray my gym locker lock with potpourri, and the smell is still on my hands four hours later. It was my idea in the first place. I took Thomas's bottle of potpourri and started spraying random people's locks for fun. Now it seems as if people are turning - on me!! Hockey is such the bomb. It's especially the bomb when I'm running around scoring goals left and right!! Well, I scored one goal at the beginning, and nobody really remembered it afterwards when I asked about it, but I didn't have to play goalie at all today.
***
sees guy walk by with cardboard tray from cafeteria
thinking to self: we haven't been to the cafeteria in a while. i wonde-
jonathan: we haven't been to the cafeteria in a long time.
me: i... was just thinking that!!
***
learned to play: Ben Kweller - Family Tree
Ozma - Rain Of The Golden Gorilla
***
note: I'm planning on buying a good calculator for math. I know nothing about it, so if you have any recommendations, please leave a comment. Or something. Okay.
***
[listening to: Ben Kweller - Make It Up l lyrics]
[mood: curious ]

possible candidates for kite-flying society...

2003-11-12T20:46:00.000-08:00

Okay. So I've cleared out this little section of time to do some writing and recapping. I have two tests tomorrow, so I'll need to be getting the hell out of here soon. (incidentally, the tests are in my two first classes, giving me the whole rest of the day to mull over my mistakes) The Spanish test should've been today, actually, but it was moved to tomorrow. Mr. Johnson is probably my most lenient teacher. The Cyrano questions, originally due tomorrow, were moved to Friday. And the book report, originally due Friday, was moved to Monday. Thank fucking god. The two days we had off have crammed a week's worth of work into three days. I had to walk home to drop off my stuff and get my guitar, since it's wednesday, and Thomas followed me all the way home. What was the point of that?! I gave him a curious george bandaid.

We finally got to play hockey again in p.e. The bad part was that we had to rotate positions every time that someone scored a goal. It just so happened that I played goalie for about half the time. The plan for tomorrow is that if one of us gets to be goalie for too long, we'll just let the other team score so we can rotate.

I've never had such a bang-up boring time at musicians club. Somebody actually brought in music from Mulan. I don't even know whose idea it was to play Disney music in the first place. The thing is, the chords were actually pretty difficult. What made it worse was that I was the only guitarist who showed up this week, making me have to sit it all out alone. I'm glad I have a dentist appointment next Wednesday.

The most beautiful girl in the entire world goes to my school.
And I wish I knew her name.
***
[listening to: Incubus - I Miss You l lyrics]
[mood: satisfied ]

2003-11-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

It is Monday morning, and when I walk into the central building I can feel my stomach clench."

2003-11-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

I always wait for it to be completely dark before I get up and turn the lights on. Sitting in total darkness isn't that bad. I've been spending a lot of time in front of the computer lately. And I come to the bitter realization that tomorrow is school again, and I have a test every day of this week. It seems a lot later than it is. I got quite a bit of homework done this weekend, if nothing else. Finished reading One L, and started on the book report due friday. I couldn't be any more fucking bored... ! I spent most of the day on =wf. I hope it either rains or bursts with sunlight tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to stand anything in between.
***
[listening to: Eddie Vedder - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away lyrics]
[mood: listless ]

I read the news today oh boy

2003-11-10T15:40:00.000-08:00

About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph.
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights have changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure
If he was from the House of Lords.
I saw a film today oh boy
The English Army had just won the war
A crowd of people turned away
But I just had to look
Having read the book
I'd love to turn you on.

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged my comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream.

I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.
I'd love to turn you on
***
[listening to: Beatles - A Day In The Life]

i hear that people are most creative when they're tired

2003-11-09T23:14:00.000-08:00

All I know is that my eyes are slowly closing, and I'm straining to keep them from shutting. For what, I'm not sure. I finished one of the essays that I had to do, which will be included in this post, for those with time on their hands. I got my pictures developed today, and they turned out okay. It's too bad that I don't have a scanner, or I'd post some. I'd never used up an entire roll of film by myself before. A picture of my guitar, a picture of my amp, and a picture of trees in my backyard are among some of my favorites.
***
Keep in mind that this was supposed to be about a real person, but I couldn't think of one, so I envisioned a fictional character.

[Write a detailed description of someone you know who is a showoff.]
Brian is an okay guy. At least, he used to be, before he became such a braggart. I could put up with it at first, but the act got to be old and tired after a while. It started off as a minor thing. Brian would beat me at a board game or achieve some kind of goal that I hadn't, and he'd hold it over me for days. He made sure I didn't forget it; the day after, I could be sure that a few subtle hints would be dropped about my failure and his success. But he’d usually let up after my continuous refusal to let him know that it bothered me. Minor things like those are how it used to be. I could put up with it. Everybody has a few character flaws. I'm no exception, so I didn't think it fair to keep a little thing like that from getting in the way of our friendship. Like I said, that's how it started before it actually escalated into a problem. There were at least three instances I remember that led to the dissolving of any ties, or even contact, between him and me.

The first was during Christmas vacation. We'd made plans to go to the local arcade, and I was early, as usual. We played myriad games, but eventually ended up at Pac-Man, like we always did. There was always a friendly competition between us to see who could get the highest score. I went first and finished with a sub-par score. Brian stepped up to the machine and took out an entire roll of quarters, which he proceeded to put all into the slot, one by one; he had a queer, decisive look about him. The game must've gone on for half an hour, what with all those credits. When Brian was finished, his score was hundreds of thousands above the rest, and he gleamed as he entered his initials. The next few weeks, whenever we met, he'd find a way to remind me of his achievement.

"Could you open this jar? My hands are kind of sore from Pac-man."

"Do you remember if I got nearer to one million or two million?"

"Did you hear that? The sound of success."

And out of the blue, "I am amazing."

You've got to be kidding me, I kept thinking to myself. He let off after a few weeks, but I don't believe that he ever forgot or got over it. He probably smiles when he thinks about it now.

The second incident closely followed the one above. We were in class and the teacher was handing back the tests we'd taken a few days earlier. It wasn't a particularly important exam, just another chapter test that we usually had once every week or so. I received a satisfying B. After class, I assumed that Brian had gotten an A, because he was brimming with joy, and he couldn't stop grinning. I was right. He was happier with his grade than I could've imagined, and he didn't pass up a single chance to let me know it, either. I lived through weeks listening to, "Wow, 'great work.' I guess I did pretty good," at completely random times. I even avoided him once or twice, because I knew that any conversation we had would eventually end up on the subject of his wonderful test. Again I looked past this event, and tried to focus on any possible good qualities that Brian had.

The third time was the last straw. I'd had enough. Brian was signed up for an art contest, and he spent a minimal amount of time on his submission. The day after the exhibition he called me up and told me he'd won second place overall. Of course I was happy for him, but I knew that I was going to be hearing about it for the next month at least, so I kept the call as short as I could. Just as I'd thought, the next time I saw Brian, he had his blue ribbon with him. He took every possible opportunity to show it to me and everybody else he knew. I could only imagine how long he would've gone on like that had he won the grand prize.

Like I said, that was the last straw for me. A person can only be so much of a show off before you can't stand it anymore.
***
good-fucking-night
***
[listening to: Coldplay - Don't Panic l lyrics]
[mood: exhausted ]

spanish bombs in andalucia

2003-11-09T17:54:00.000-08:00

I have three essays to do. Please go here while I work on them.

Joan Of Arcadia is the only show that I watch every week.

saturday sun came early one morning

2003-11-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

I'm wearing goddamned fur-lined boots because my feet are so cold. It's 3:30, but the sky is already dark, and it's raining like hell. It's the kind of day that makes you want to go back to bed, but all I'm doing is homework. I don't have school until Wednesday, because of labor day and some kind of teacher workshop day on Tuesday and Monday, respectively.
***
I have a bad habit of writing something and then finishing it up later. It's 7:30 now. I finally got my shirt in the mail; it rocks like a motherfucker. I think I'll be getting more shirts from Threadless in the near future. I'm not embarassed to say that I'm looking forward to the new blink 182 album. After downloading songs that were leaked recently, I'm really excited for it.

There's nothing else to talk about. I need to finish my book so I can finally get started on the book report that we've had over a month to do now. I wonder how long I can go before I need to get a haircut.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - Parachutes l lyrics]
[mood: satisfied ]

a warning sign, i missed the good part

2003-11-07T17:35:00.000-08:00

ahh, sweet, sweet satisfaction. A recap.

In modern world, six or seven Israeli teenage students from Israel came to give a presentation and speak with us about their culture. The first thing I noticed was that one of the girls had horn-rimmed glasses, but let's not get into that. The presentation was pretty weak, judging by the presenters' unpreparedness and the audience's general lack of participation. It got to a point where the air of the room was so tense that you felt sorry for them, having come so many miles, only to speak to a group of kids who don't even ask any questions. The presentation itself wasn't too informative. Maybe I'm unappreciative. The kids were really nice, though.

You can't imagine how good it feels to be able to eat again after two days of near-starvation (I think I've lost two pounds). My tongue is very close to being fully healed, so I could talk and eat and etc. throughout the day as I pleased. During the entire day, I think I had: 1 cup of milk, 1 piece of toast, 1 bowl of chicken soup, 2 pieces of pizza, 4 mini salami sticks, 1 bag of air crisps, and 1 bottle of water. I wonder what we're having for dinner.

We spent lunch at the bench again, and it bordered on raining several times, but eventually did not. Jonathan and I made paper boats and put them on a puddle next to where we were sitting. I think we made at least seven or eight of them. It seems that worms like water, because there were a half dozen of them in the puddle as well. We tried to take some out and put them on the boats, but they just squirmed back in. I also invented a game that is probably one of the greatest schoolyard games of all time. The name of the game is Southpaw, taken from the term used in Rocky. What you do is (you need to be naturally right-handed for this), you take your right hand and either put it in your pocket or behind your back. The left hand will be used throughout the game. Both persons pound fists with each other, as a sort of "bow," and then proceed to punch each other with their left hands. (Keep in mind that the right hand is never used.) Punches can be anywhere but in the face or below the belt. This goes on until someone yells to stop or both are too tired to go on. It may not sound so great at first, but its really fun when you're actually one of the people participating. The game started with Shane and me, and I spread it to some of my friends in p.e. It's only a matter of time before it catches on as a natural phenomenon.

A girl took our picture for the yearbook.

girl: are you guys freshmen?
jonathan: n-
me: (cutting in) yes, what about it?
girl: are you sure?

I figure this will end up pretty interestingly.
***
In spanish class we had to memorize a dialogue and say it in front of the class.
guy: uhh... me gusta golfa
teacher: you like loose women?
***
I've fully perfected The Wind by Cat Stevens and Blackbird by the Beatles.
I have a four day weekend and no plans at all.
***
If you've got Blubster, you can download this from me.
Coldplay - Trouble (acoustic).mp3
***
[listening to: The Beatles - Blackbird l lyrics]
[mood: chipper ]

there's a rumble in my stomach

2003-11-06T19:12:00.000-08:00

I hardly ate anything all day, though I direly wanted to. My dad called Kaiser last night, and it turns out that my symptoms point to a viral infection (of the tongue, i'm supposing). I didn't feel like taking time to go see a doctor, since the lady said that it will heal in a few days. Right now, though, anything that has to do with action of the mouth is a horrible ordeal. This morning I had a bowl of oatmeal (about the only thing that's easy to eat) and 500mg of Tylenol. I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat my sandwich, so I got a salami stick from the vending machine, which was tasty, but it wasn't such a good choice in my case. I'm definitely improving. People take normality for granted.
***
It rained today, a sort of light rain that doesn't get you too wet. I was lucky that I actually brought my umbrella. Even though it crowded by bag all day, it came into good use on my way home.
There is no better feeling than walking home in the rain and listening to Coldplay's Amsterdam. It sets a sort of mood, though not gloomy like you might think. It's difficult to describe, but the combination of all those things makes for something incredible.

Overall, school was okay. I developed Cortez's (he has a different name every week, so I suggested that one) picture of the side of a building, which was speculated to be a mental institution or a prison. It turned out to be an academic building.

That's it; nothing special.
***
Let me ask you something.
Why would a reviewer make the point of
saying someone's not a genius?
I mean, do you think I'm especially not
a genius? ...you didn't even have to think about it, did you?
***
[listening to: Cat Stevens - The Wind l lyrics]
[mood: satisfied ]

i've never been in so much continuous, physical pain

2003-11-05T17:36:00.000-08:00

I somehow burned my tongue a day or two ago, as mentioned in the previous post. It's not just a normal tongue burn, but God I wish it was. I don't even want to describe it, but I'll try. Well, the day after it got burned, a series of small bumps appeared on my tongue, which felt a little harsh, but it wasn't too painful. A while after, a bunch of white bumps showed up on the very sides of my tongue, where it touches the teeth. This is where it started to get unbearable. It hurt just to talk, so eating and drinking were naturally an ordeal. I barely made it through dinner last night, and I can't remember, but I think my parents made something specially for me that'd be easier to eat. This morning, I had a glass of milk and half a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I didn't have any lunch at school, but I'm not that hungry now. I came home during break and had ice cream, which numbed my mouth for a bit, but was still excruciating to finish. It's going to be impossible for me to recite my dialogue in Spanish tomorrow (rolling r's and such).

Musicians club is getting a bit crazy. The first time, we played Canon in D. The second time, the meeting was somehow cancelled. Today, it seems that somebody had taken the piano room, so we all walked to the band room. Brian tells us that we can use of the small rooms. You've got to understand that these rooms are about 7x7 feet, and there are lockers lining one wall and a piano lining another. When three of us are crammed in there, it's obvious that it isn't going to work, so we somehow got permission to use the faculty lounge, which was empty.

uhh...everyone help yourself to some vitamin water. *points to vending machine*

That place is damn comfortable. Anyways, everyone was sick of Canon in D, so we open up a tab book of the Blue Album. The plan was for the guitars to play chords and leads, and the violins to play vocals. We started with The World Has Turned And Left Me Here, which the two guitars got, but the violins were struggling with. I don't blame them, since both of us (the guitarists) had heard the song before and were familiar with it, while the violinists were not. We tried Buddy Holly, then In The Garage, both of which we had the same problem with. A fairly unsuccessful meeting, but it was okay.

It's freezing. It actually started raining at lunch and later at around one. I might actually have to bring my umbrella to school tomorrow. I can't believe I actually stepped in cement. There was a grayish puddle on a dirt path at school, and, thinking it harmless, I walked right into it. I usually step in puddles and things anyway, so I thought nothing of it. That is, I thought nothing of it until I saw that the gray substance stuck to my shoe, along with a bunch of dirt and leaves. I tried to brush it off, but there's still a bunch of it on my shoes. It's a good thing that they're chucks, and they were cheap. My footprint will be forever engraved there.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - The Scientist l lyrics]
[mood: lethargic ]

i want to be forgotten, and i don't want to be reminded

2003-11-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

My dad bought a new umbrella and put it on my bed. I didn't bring it with me, though. I guess it's going to rain soon? Maybe I should.
***
I accidentally brought a sandwich with me to school; we were supposed to go to King Of Thai Noodle at lunch. We walked all the way there and were told that they'd be opening at eleven. We had to get back to class by 11:45, of course accounting for a fifteen minute walk back, waiting time for the food, and the actual eating. So we decided to go to Arby's instead. I had a hard time eating anything, as I'd burned my tongue eating god-knows-what a few days earlier. It's not just a normal burn; my entire tongue burns whenever something comes in contact with it. For christ's sake, even toothpaste stings the hell out of it. Some other kids from school were there, and one of them offered us a whole page of coupons. It was nice of him to offer us coupons, and I used the one for chicken fingers, but who carries around coupons for food Arby's in their backpack? Anyways, we walked back to school, but not before buying five packages of those little poppers that explode when you throw them on the ground. The whole time, a turkey sandwich was lying patiently in my bag.
***
I went to p.e. thinking that we'd be running another mile, practicing for "the big one." When we got outside, to my surprise, there were a bunch of hockey sticks laid out; it turns out we'll be playing hockey for the next few weeks. I never imagined anything could rock this hard. The absence of skates is a minus, yes, but the fact that I'll be playing hockey at school is awesome. I don't know why I'm excited. I haven't played hockey in years. I must say, though, I was pretty good with the stick. We practiced passing first and then we did shooting. Thomas and I were so good, however, that we got to move on from the plastic puck to the plastic ball! She got mad when I flipped it into the air.

you're so much more different in p.e. than in world lit
***
We're learning about heredity and traits and genes and etc. in biology. That's why we'll be "mating" tomorrow; in other words, we'll be seeing what our children will look like, both their phenotypes and genotypes. I should be very embarassed about this, but I don't think I am. I dislike everyone in my biology class.
***
the teacher does a few simple example problems and then writes
a more difficult one on the board for the class to do.
she says: this is when they start getting really long and hard
*snickering and murmered laughter*
teacher: oh grow up
***
Rtu567: make i should burn her
Rtu567: thatll show her
***
P uNk EdRo Ck41: who's that girl in your icon
luckyduck753: OMG!
luckyduck753: no ITS A GUY!!!!
luckyduck753: hes HOT!
luckyduck753: GUY! GUY!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: who is it
P uNk EdRo Ck41: he's very feminine
luckyduck753: hes NOT!
luckyduck753: hes MANLY!
***
shane: i went home at mods 6 & 7- smoked a bowl
me: a bowel?
***

You are Cheerleader. You are the leader. You never
die. You always look soooo good. Are the most
popularest ever.

Which Teen Girls Squad Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
***
[listening to: Phantom Planet - In Our Darkest Hour l lyrics]
[mood: indifferent ]

I don't want to change your mind/ I don't want to change the world/ I just want to watch it go by

2003-11-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

I'm too tired and busy to formulate an informative post.

a minor goes to d, very nicely

2003-11-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

Currently I'm heating up some Chunky soup in the microwave. There's not much to do, really. I got Room On Fire in the mail yesterday, and I've been listening to it nonstop for the past day or so. I can now play both the lead and rhythm guitar parts of 12:51. Threadless is a really cool place to get shirts online. I ordered this one, and it should be coming in the mail soon.
***
I just finished putting a coat of wood finish on my new cd-holder shelf. It's 5:37 p.m. now, a few hours later than the above. I actually fell down the stairs today and landed on my back at the bottom. Luckily I wasn't hurt, but I found the whole situation very humorous and couldn't stop laughing. Anyways, the cd shelf is the same as the one I had before; I got it from tower and it holds sixty discs. Wood finish has a peculiar, nauseating smell that makes you wonder if you shouldn't be breathing that stuff through your nose.

It's sad to say that iTunes is really great. Burning cds and importing songs is really quick, and my stuff is much more organized now. Radio stations are an added plus. I feel like I'm betraying an old friend, Windows Media Player, but how can it compare with interactive menus and a little thing that spins when you make cds. I burned A Rush Of Blood To The Head. I didn't think that I'd like Coldplay, since I hated Yellow when it first came out, but this disc is excellent.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - Warning Sign l lyrics]
[mood: recumbent ]

I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling your puzzles apart

2003-10-31T21:21:00.000-08:00

It's cold. This past Thursday and Friday have been colder than any other days in the past few months. I went so far as to wear a long-sleeved shirt and I was still freezing. The day went by as a blur again, as was predicted and expected. I can't remember much of importance that happened. I guess you could say my overall mood is bored, though that might be too harsh of a word. I think I should note that the clouds today were amazing. The light shone at a particular angle that made the entire sky seem a painting; it was very nice, to say the least. On a similar note, I saw the moon at 3:15 p.m. Thursday afternoon, and felt it necessary to point it out to my entire p.e. class, who as a whole seemed very unimpressed. But how many times have you seen the moon in plain view at 3:15?

I could honestly say that the photography club is one of my favorite parts of school. The day of the meeting, thursday, we developed pictures again, and I somehow ended up with a negative of a picture taken in the 50's of a group of three, in full 50's garb, standing in front of an old house. It's weird thinking that I developed a picture of three possibly dead strangers. The former president of the club was there that day; while I was talking to her she said that the club used to consist of about six or so members. There are one to two dozen who show up every week now, so it's safe to say that it's more popular than it was before. I could spend hours in a room illuminated only by the occasional red lightbulb. There are these cardboard covers that we made during the first meeting that go over the windows to block out all outside light; they're held in place by duct tape. One of the funniest things I've ever seen is Brian (this guy in the club) walking by and having the the whole piece of cardboard (it's about the size of a full door) fall on him. The light starts flooding in and everyone stares in that direction; all the while he's trying to push it back into place so as not to mess up anyone's photos. Watching him fumble with that cardboard and seeing other people rush over to help him hold it up was hilarious. Keep in mind that this is all happening in the dark. Of course I wasn't laughing in a seditious way; it was all in good fun. I was practically rolling on tables, I was laughing so hard.
***
jonathan: we should all sign up for different lunch mods next semester
me: why?
j: so we can make new friends
me: you.... don't want to have lunch with me?
***
We read part of the first act of Cyrano aloud in World Lit. I had the parts of first lackey and Christian, repectively. Mr. Johnson let us out early so that we could all go to the Halloween rally. Shane found me after awhile, but we eventually gave up looking for Jonathan. As far as rallies go, it was pretty lame. There was a costume contest that included Quail Man, Duff Man, and a male ballerina, among others. No opportunities to steal the show or make a scene arose, like at the rally during spirit week. It was nothing special.
***
No trick-or-treaters came to my house, and it doesn't seem like there are that many on my street, anyways. I did carve a pumpkin, though. Pictures forthcoming.
***

If rain clouds appear, drop to your knees.
***
[listening to: Coldplay - The Scientist l lyrics]
mood: calm

dear god

2003-10-30T21:35:00.000-08:00

I have a palpable hate for Blogger right now. You could probably guess the reason. As always, it is post erasure, the thing that has tormented me time and time again. I have neither the energy nor want to type it all out as it was in the order of my mind before. So until tomorrow, then.

It's suddenly gotten very cold.

2003-10-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

The breeze is blowing the blinds back and forth, and they're making a loud crashing sound on the window sill. It took me a while to realize that it is fucking freezing and I should close the window. Musicians club turned out to be a major letdown. I go home after World Lit and drop off my books. I pick up my guitar and start walking back to school with it. I drop it off in the band room and go to p.e. I go back to the band room afterwards and Max says he's going to go play guitar with his friends in the courtyard instead. That's not too bad, I can still play by myself. I go to room 74 and wait with another guy who is in the club. Our supervisor (she really just opens the door for us and leaves, though periodically checks in to see if we're eating or breaking the rules) tells us that the meeting was cancelled because Brian (the president) has something else he needs to do, and some of the violinists couldn't make it. Later, John and Brian show up and Brian pleads the lady to unlock the door, though there are only three of us, because he still needs to go do something. John, the other guy whose name escapes me, and I go in the room and, needless, to say, it's very empty. The other guy plays the piano for a bit, and he's quite good. John lets me use the Blue Album tab book that he brought. Maybe I stayed for half an hour, probably less. He says there will definitely be a meeting next week; there better be.
***
[listening to: Pavement - Fame Throwa l lyrics]
mood: recumbent

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey...

2003-10-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

And so it goes that somehow today seems so much greater than yesterday. For one thing, it was hot to a degree that wasn't sweltering, just comfortable. Most of my classes were a breeze to sit through, and my Modern world test wasn't that hard, although at the same time not that easy. My spanish grade is horrible, it really is. I mean, I got 20/32 on a quiz, albeit one that I wasn't prepared for at all and was unannounced. Our midterm, which was announced, I got a 58/62 on, which will hopefully even things out. I really didn't think it was that hot today, but I guess some people disagreed. People were walking past left and right holding whole tubs of ice cream from Albertsons. Albertsons is at least a ten minute walk away. They were even selling popsicles on the catwalk.

I'll say it, i'll say it. I enjoyed p.e. today. Ms. Louie decided it was too hot to run the mile, so we had this game with water balloons that involved tossing them back and forth to your partner and taking periodic steps backwards. The last one with an intact water balloon would win. Guess what, baby? That's right, I won. That means I don't have to run the mile tomorrow. I guess I'll be standing around, relaxing. I hope this isn't some sick physical education joke. If I get to gym class tomorrow and find out I in fact do have to run, heads will fly.
***
I think I fell half in love with an Italian girl wearing glasses today. There were two or three dozen Italian exchange students who came to our school for about a week and they were leaving today, luggage and all of them congregated near the flagpole, where they were hugging and saying goodbye to people they'd met. An Italian girl with horn-rimmed glasses, black hair, and a black shirt was walking by when a girl asked if they were going camping. I think she said, "No, we are going back to Italy," in English, but with an Italian accent; the way she said Italy was she annunciated the first syllable and said it something like EET-ahly. I don't know what it is, but I almost fell over when she said that. I swear to god I did. (citr). I couldn't stop smiling until I got to math class.

That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty... you fall
half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
***
"I got M&M's, what did you get?"
"I got a candy bar, what'd you get Charlie Brown?"
"... I got rocks.."
***
I just discovered that iTunes has free radio stations, adding cool points. I'm listening to Indie Pop Rocks. I have to admit, it is pretty nice.
***
[listening to: Beck - Loser l lyrics]
mood: cheerful

the world was at her feet and she was looking down

2003-10-27T20:11:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of everyone in general. I hate the types at my school. It's just full of fobs. If someone's not a fob, he's a nerd. I don't mean one of those loveable popular culture nerds that everyone looks at and immediately likes. These are full on, no-nonsense nerds with sweatpants, thick glasses, graphing calculators, and blocked nasal-passages that make a loud sound when they breath. I spent lunch with my friends watching a bunch of kids play "kick the can." It's a game where the one who last touches the can is it, and whoever is it gets the shit kicked out of them by everyone else. It sounds fun, I know. These kids are supposed to be the cool, guitar-playing, rock music group, but they hang out with the populars and basically that's what they are. We've only been in school for eight or nine weeks, and there is already a solidified popular group; they know they are, too. After we finished watching that, they just went to play basketball again, those fuckers. I sat and watched until math class and then got the hell out of there. a loner.

Never tell parents anything. I told my mom about the honors english exam that is going to be given this thursday. Everyone should have registered by last Friday, but when I went to the english department the lady just told me that mr. davis wasn't in, and made me get out. I was supposed to go ask about it again today, but when I got there the entire department was empty. I really mean empty, too; there wasn't a single person in the entire room and the lights were all off. I don't know why they didn't lock the door or something. When I got home today my mom asked me if I signed up and I told her no. Apparently this was the wrong answer, because she started screaming at me for half an hour about responsibility and following through with what you plan on doing, etc. I was already having a horrible day, with the unseasonal heat and loneliness. When my dad got home, she told him about it all and he started screaming at me too. I went into the kitchen, looked my mother straight in the eye, and started shaking my head with a look of disgust on my face. Maybe this wasn't the smartest thing to do, because both of them started in on me at that point. I wish someone would walk up and stifle me.
***
School keeps me busy enough that I don't notice that days go by until they are actually over. I can't remember the last time I spent a day doing something I wanted. I feel like opening the windows wide and shouting a bunch of expletives to nobody in particular, just the street.
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - Sleep The Clock Around l lyrics]
mood: frustrated

thank- fucking-god

2003-10-26T21:47:00.000-08:00

I never imagined I'd finish making my family tree before ten o'clock. What a nice feeling, being ahead of schedule. In fact, I'm a half hour ahead of schedule. I'm starting to love this layout. I listened to Elliott Smith's Either/Or in the car yesterday, and it's sad that he had to die before I realized how utterly fantastic his music is. I mean, sure, I liked it a whole lot before, but it never struck me as ever being anything beautiful. I wonder how long I would've gone without listening to it if he was still alive.

I got the black and white film. I hope I have time to use it and get it developed before thursday. It doesn't make much sense, but this is what I'm going to do: take the pictures. get them developed at albertson's. take the negatives out of the package. bring them to school on thursday. develop them. have two copies of the same pictures. I don't mind too much, I guess.

You know, I never thought downloading itunes would make me feel so guilty, but it does. I haven't actually bought any songs yet, and let me stress that I will not. I really like using it just to play my songs. It's pretty slick and everything, but I can't help feeling that I've let down my good friend Gates. Nothing this serious yet, at least.

Please, please, please everyone check out Belle And Sebastian if you haven't yet. I felt like keeping it to myself and not sharing it with anyone, but they one of my favorite bands now. They're one of those bands that you're skeptical about getting into at first, but after you do, you'll kick yourself for not doing it sooner. Anyways, definitely check them out, you won't be disappointed.

Need to memorize the quadratic formula before I go to sleep. I am dead serious.
***

You are a normal rock!

::Which rock personality disorder (from the Zoloft commercial) should you have? (Results contain pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - Beautiful l lyrics]
mood: happy

you are on day 591 of your 30 day trial

2003-10-26T17:22:00.000-08:00

New layouts abound! You never really know what life is about until you spend countless hours sitting in front of a monitor doing work. I promised myself that I would never again use up time to make a new layout, but I've broken promises to myself before, why not again? It's not entirely complete, but I need to finish making my family tree for Spanish class. Hoping everyone likes the new look. It's like a new haircut: it takes time to get used to it, but by the time you do, you need a new one. That's it.
***
[listening to: Belle And Sebastian - Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying l lyrics]
mood: drained

I'll march slowly and I'll never forget, How the music stopped or the feel of your breath

2003-10-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

I am so EMO.

The day went by fast, but I can't remember anything to write about. It didn't seem like that many hours. I found a really cool watch that was lying around my house, with a woolly mammoth on it. It requires winding; you can hear it ticking from a mile away. I tried to take a picture of it right now, but alas, my camera doesn't have a flash, and trying all possible light settings still turned out some lame pictures that I won't bother uploading. I woke up today feeling a real need to get things done. (I noticed that I never step out of bed. I literally stumble out every morning.) Let's just say I didn't accomplish that goal, and tomorrow is going to be a hell of a boring day too. The first thing I did was adjust my acoustic guitar's truss rod, because the strings were too far from the neck, making it almost impossible to play, or at least play well. This took me an hour or two, off and on, because I kept walking off in the middle of re-tuning and finding other stuff to do. I need to remember to buy black-and-white film, too. My dad found an old camera from the 70's that he's letting me use, so all I need is film and I can go crazy with that.

God, I hate couscous.

My mind is a complete blank, and I know very well why that is. I'm going to sleep.
***
I CANT S2P USNG THIS TRANSLA2R ITS SO COL11!!!1 OMG
***
[listening to: The Anniversary - The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter l lyrics]
mood: tired

I saw it written and I saw it said -

2003-10-25T14:50:00.000-07:00

pink moon is on its way.
None of you stand so tall,
pink moon gonna get you all
and it's a pink moon, yeah, pink moon.
Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon.
Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink moon.

I saw it written and I saw it said -
pink moon is on its way.
None of you stand so tall,
pink moon gonna get you all
and it's a pink moon, yeah, pink moon.
***
Hear the Shins' new single
***
[listening to: Nick Drake - Pink Moon]
mood: hot

oh two, i know, i know, i know. look to the flat end, you can see your shadow.

2003-10-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

It was insanely hot the entire day, though you wouldn't have known it by staying in my house the whole time, where it's freezing. School started at 9:20, so I had a lot of free time in the morning. The weather report said there would be a high of 84 degrees, which is extremely hot for San Francisco, so I wore shorts even though I hardly ever do if I have a choice, but it turned out to be a smart move after all. I really have sleeping problems. I dozed off more than once Biology while we were watching a film on mitosis. I guess that could be justified, actually, but there's always that feeeling that something terrible will happen if I let myself drift off. I would say it all goes back to seventh grade history with Mr. Moseley. He wasn't a bad teacher, but sometimes he would talk in monotone, and the fact that I don't really find history that interesting adds to it as well, but I digress. Anyways, I literally fell asleep once or twice during that class, even though I tried as hard as I could to keep myself awake. The first time he just said, "Got to keep awake, Vincent," in a disappointed/annoyed tone. The second time, he slammed his goddamn hand down on my desk as hard as he could, giving me the shock of a lifetime. By the end of eighth grade I think he thought I was okay, but I still feel bad about that. It's not my fault. Like I said, I have a sleeping problem.

I'll cut this short today - I don't have much to write. I wore a shirt with elephants today.
***

***

[listening to: The Thermals - I Know The Pattern l lyrics]
mood: hot (not anymore, though)

i don't know what it is

2003-10-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

Despite a feeling of shirking my responsibility, I absolutely did not have time to post yesterday. First of all, I got home at around five and then had a snack, so the rest of my night I had to spend on homework and studying and all things school. Lemme tell ya, acoustic hard cases are not light. In fact, I think it added a good three or four pounds. I walked home right after World Lit, during my break, and got my guitar, which I lugged back to school. I brought it into the art wing, but I didn't know where to put it, so I just walked around in the hall for a while before I actually got the nerve to go into the band room, where a bunch of people were playing. I asked a guy and he told me that I could put it in one of the small rooms in the band room. I put it down and went to p.e. Afterwards, I went back and it was still there, which was good. I took it into room 74 and played by myself until everyone arrived. A guy named John taught Max and I the chords to Pachelbel's Canon, which we played in D major. It sounded pretty good; the mixture of guitars, cello, piano, and violins was nice. I had a pretty good time, and it was the first time I'd actually played something with a bunch of other people simultaneously. I wasn't bad.

That was yesterday. Today I had photography club, and we developed a bunch of pictures again. I was surprised at the much larger turnout compared to last week. I liked the smaller group better, but it was okay. I found out that the girl with horn-rimmed glasses (also known as miss) is sixteen and a junior, and she moved here from Connecticut, I think, a year ago. My friend and I developed some of the photos that she took in Quebec. The one with her grandmother turned out pretty well, but the other one of her Japanese friend was blurry, a result of an effort to make the picture larger and focus on her; the resolution wasn't high enough, though. If only to be two years older!

Mr. Johnson wanted to read my essay aloud in class, but luckily he didn't find it. I don't have a problem with him wanting to read it, but it makes me seem pretentious, even though I didn't actually ask him to read it. The essay was pretty good, but I hope it's not because he grades on a curve; I think I'm the only one who got an A. In a stroke of luck, he found it right when everyone started filing out. He gave it to me, though, and I guess it is a pretty good essay. It was a half hour effort. I might just be exaggerating, but I remember that I didn't spend a lot of time crafting it or anything; I read it over once after I'd finished and put it in my binder. I guess it really wasn't that good. It felt nice to get praise from someone, even if I don't competely deserve it. Or maybe I do.
***
I was surfing the internet on a computer in the library (I recently discovered that checking it out is for suckers, and I used it for an hour before the librarian inquired if I had a card for it). I went on the weezer.com boards, and some way or another, I found out that Elliott Smith is dead. Dead. I was in shock for a few minutes; it's hard to grasp the idea of someone whose cd's you owned and listened to all the time, someone contemporary, dying. He was 34 and died of an apparent suicide, a knife through the heart. Apparently he'd been battling addiction for some time now. I never know what to think about things like these.
***
I can't believe how average my grades are. I'm still waiting for my report card in the mail; I've an overall jist of what my grades will be like, though. I guess my school is pretty competitive. It's depressing thinking that freshman year is going to be the easiest. I'm in for a fucking crazy ride. Still planning something for the Halloween rally, which is going to be at the football field, allowing for more choices. The thing at the last rally went off pretty well, though I've gotten zero to no recognition for it. Virginia (the girl in the photography club) said she remembered the two guys running onto the field (one being me, of course), but thought that the juniors throwing eggs at us were funnier. Damn juniors.

I shouted out at Shane when I saw him while I was on my way to the library. He told me: he, derek, and jonathan were playing soccer. Somehow Shane kicked the ball and it hit Derek in the face, I guess, chipping one of his teeth, either one of the front ones or one of the ones next to the front. I think they have ways to fix these things, but I haven't seen Derek since. They couldn't find the piece that fell off either.
***
I have two hours free tomorrow morning because of the late start, so I'm not sweating it over homework tonight.

Here are Things I'm currently into:
.:: I'm starting to listen to Rufus Wainwright, and what I've heard so far is excellent.
.:: This isn't really my thing, but Flash Flash Revolution is fun sometimes, when you have nothing else to do, of course.
.:: I'm still listening to the new Shins album, fantastic, as expected.
.:: Playing more acoustic guitar when I get the chance.
.:: Photography is interesting, and I'm learning more about it.
.:: THE STROKES
That's all I can think of for now, though the list is always fluctuating, as I'm very fickle.
I'll be off.

***
[listening to: Rufus Wainwright - Oh, What A World l lyrics]
mood: happy

taking on a climb, and its long enough to put the best of us on our backs

2003-10-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've been chewing gum so long that my cheeks are sore. Sheesh, Biology midterms are coming up tomorrow, and I'm at a loss when it comes to finding the right words to describe how unprepared I feel. The only written homework today is a math worksheet that I've already finished. I feel as if I should be doing something, and I'm about to study in a little while, but now that I'm done with all real assignments, I feel very unproductive. Though reading Scott Turow's descriptions of his first year at Harvard Law School, my first year in high school seems to pale in comparison. The one thing I know is that I've never felt so continually tired in all my life. But the strange thing is that it has nothing to do with school or staying up late. I'm pretty sure I'm getting enough sleep each night, and I worry if I don't get to bed my 10:30 and wake up by 6:30. Maybe the worst part about being tired is not the actual feeling of a need for more rest, but the continual yawning. Even as I speak, my mouth is opening without my consent. I have a sneaking suspicion that the yawns will give off an air of disinterest, but even if they do its not my fault, nor am I trying to show anything but my full attention. I really am tired, though. I bordered on dozing off in Accel.

For the first time, I checked out a computer in the library. I wasn't sure how to do it, so I just walked in and stood in front of the desk with my id. The lady figured what was on my mind; she said, "twenty-two," meaning that I should take that check-out card and replace it with my card. I could've put that time to better use. They were macs, which I'm not accustomed to using, and the scroll button on the mouse was broken. I think I read every single Penny Arcade, and I checked all the new posts on the weezer boards. I told a few people that I was an MD, which gave me the idea of writing that after my signature. You've got to keep things interesting.

Shane and Jonathan are making bets on basketball games now. They've made nearly ten dollars, so they've been winning. Me, I don't really like basketball. It's an okay sport, but people start taking it too seriously sometimes. Maybe I act as a mere spectator too much. I'm confused, because I just started thinking about synchronizing watches with someone, and how incredibly cool that would be, especially if we both had an hourly timer.
***
"Make sure you study everything, because I'm going to be grading very harshly."
guy: (whispering) Bring it on, bitch

My sentiments exactly. Our assignment for Spanish is to study. What're we doing in class tomorrow? Studying. I'm torn between studying now and studying tomorrow, though I must bring my need of Biology study into consideration. At least Modern World is a homework-free class today. We're watching The Mission with Robert de Niro and Jeremy Irons. It's very interesting, especially when the girl and guy in front of me stop moving around so I can actually see the television.

I'm thinking about trying for English Honors. It could either boost my self-esteem or crush my spirits. I would really hope for the former. I'm not sure I'm good enough to be in an honors class yet.

I wish my iron heart would stop vibrating.
***
[listening to: Ultimate Fakebook - Roll l lyrics]
mood: indifferent

it has nothing to do with that. it has everything to do with that.

2003-10-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

I won't be able to stop thinking about the absurdity of Blogger until sometime tomorrow morning. Would it be okay if I asked, why would it take you to the sign-in screen after you've written a half-way decent post and decide to click on the publish button to make it all final? I'm beginning to think these things are signs. "Don't publish this, it's bad." "You'll just be embarassing yourself." Am I developing an acute case of paranoia? I kept turning around and glancing left and right on the way home. I'm really starting to regret not being able to publish my previous thoughts. I've written them down and they're gone, from existance it seems, because I can't remember a word of it. If the gods are plotting against me, they couldn't be making it any more obvious.
***
I walked twenty minutes to school; when I'd gone a far enough distance that I couldn't dash home again and get to class on time, I came to the bitter realization that my p.e. things were still laying at home, probably on my bed. Undoubtedly, in situations like these, I run over the worse-case scenarios, which I did. They didn't seem so bad. I forgot about it until later in the day, when a friend in my gym class tapped me on the shoulder in the hall and asked me where we were meeting for p.e. I told him I'd forgotten my clothes, and he came up with the bright idea of going home during my break and getting them. Twenty minutes walk home, twenty minutes walk to school. I got back in time to sit in the courtyard and start reading the book I chose for the World Lit book report. From a bookshelf in my house, the book is Scott Turow's One L, an account of his first year as a student at Harvard Law School. It's very good, by the way. We ran in gym. Four laps around the track, in fact. The fifth we walked. Twenty minutes walk home, and I sat down. You can add it up.
***
Thank you for listening.
***
[listening to: Bright Eyes - The Center Of The World l lyrics]
mood: tired

so says i!

2003-10-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, I just saw a cat jump four feet into the air and onto a fence. I spent today at home, mostly doing homework and basically chilling out, if you could call it that. I have to add that Chutes Too Narrow is awe-some. From the first "whoo!" to the last strum, the whole thing is amazing, and must say that I can't stop listening to it. I just hope that I don't wear it out before it actually comes in the mail. Anyways, one of the things that I did do was go to Guitar Center to buy a hardcover acoustic case. I can probably bring it to school on wednesdays now, for the musicians club, as long as I don't have a bunch of other shit to carry, which is usually the case, what with books, waterbottles, jackets, etc. Maybe I could drop it off at the band room or something, though I'd probably worry through the entire day about theft. I'm not really sure that someone'd want to steal it; it's not the greatest thing ever. Kids'll take anything, though.

***
It's starting to get dark now. I still need to study for a Spanish test tomorrow. All of these different languages would be completely unnecessary if everyone had adopted Latin in the first place. The thing to do is spread a single language to all peoples of the world before they develop their own or even get a chance to think about it, thereby making international communication much easier. The irony is that I'm typing this in English, but, hey, think about it. We could've had an entire planet of Latin-speaking individuals, all able to communicate with one another, and there would never be any language barriers at all. Translators would be completely obsolete, and nobody could talk behind your back without your understanding them.

....and I land back on earth just in time to continue studying.
***
The pumpkin I picked out is perfect for carving. What to make I haven't thought of yet, but it'll come to me.
Anyways, not much else.
***
[listening to: The Shins - Those To Come]
mood: apathetic

and ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow

2003-10-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Jesus, I can hardly contain my excitement. I just pre-ordered the new Shins album from Amazon.com, and along with the purchase, I get a stream of the entire album, song by song. I can't believe how awesome this is. Ah man, I love the Shins. The great thing about this is that the streams are all high-quality, and I can listen to them over and over, as many times and as much as I like. And I'll be getting the actual cd in the mail sometime this week. I can't explain how fucking great this album is, and listening to it before the actual release date is an added plus. The tuesday after next, the Strokes's Room On Fire will be coming out as well, and I can walk to Borders afterschool or during lunch to go get it. I can't help but smile at my good new music fortune. Chutes too narrow, indeed.
***
[listening to: The Shins - Young Pilgrims]
mood: jubilant

never ride on a bus backwards

2003-10-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

It will only end in a severe bout of nausea. At least that's what happened to me. Dizziness didn't get me down, though. I had to get up at about 6:30 a.m. to go with Shane to Cal History Day. The morning abounded with fog, but the weather was sunnier in Berkeley. Anyways, I sat backwards on MUNI, and by the time I'd realized what a bad idea that was, I had already been overcome by nausea. I decided to stand up after that, so that I could face forward. Another reason I stood was because I gave my seat to an old lady, who I think was trying to sit there in the first place, but I'd beaten her to it. A lady had to tell me to get up and let her sit down, and afterwards I felt really horrible about it and apologized. The BART ticket to Berkeley was $2.75, and I'm not sure if that's cheap or expensive. There were more seats here than on the bus, so I had enough room to stretch out on my back while still facing forward, as my dizziness hadn't completely gone away yet. We were supposed to be going underwater, underneath the bay. In fact, we didn't go on the Bay Bridge, but I still don't believe we went underwater. It doesn't seem very plausible, though it's highly possible that I'm just wrong. We finally got there after half an hour or so, and arrived at the alumni room after a bit of walking. There were a few girls from school that are in Shane's modern world class, and we sat behind them. I, being the sophisticated adolescent that always I am, got some black coffee. I gained twenty-five cents from my bet that the girl sitting in front of me was drinking coffee, too. She was sipping it from one of those stirrer straws.

It wasn't exactly as I'd imagined it. It consisted of three historians giving half-hour lectures on "the occupied and the occupiers." In other words, they talked about what we could learn from past liberations of countries that could help the situation in Iraq, and so forth. The first speaker talked about the Romans and Jesus, and how the Romans and Pilate were the ones who really persecuted him, not the Jews. The second was a German woman who spoke of the denazification of Germany and the allied occupation after the second world war. Finally, the third guy talked about Japan and the American occupation thereof. During each of the lectures, I spaced out for a few minutes and then paid complete attention for the rest of the time. The presentations were interesting, but much too long to actually hold someone's attention for the full time, I think. There were about fifteen minutes of questions after each speaker had finished. I used that time to go to the bathroom and get more coffee. (I think caffeine doesn't really have that much of an affect on me.) Afterwards, we went to this burrito place and then went home the same way we came. It's only three o-clock now, but I feel pretty spent already. I still have to go to art class. I got about two dozen little hard free hard candies at See's Candies, because they were having a sale on them. Note: it's not very polite to compare somebody to an animal, especially if she's skinny and has long legs, and you call her a gazelle.
***
[listening to: Nick Drake - Things Behind The Sun l lyrics]
mood: chipper

Please beware of them that stare

2003-10-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

Today was club exploration day, though there were only about a dozen clubs with stands set up in the courtyard, and none of mine were included. I did get a damn good slice of cornbread, though the chili was a bit watery, and missing any signs of meat. I'm just gathering up the energy to re-type everything that was lost when I accidentally closed the window and clicked No when asked if I wanted to save. Don't ask me, I'm still not sure exactly how that happened.

Anyways, today, Jonathan, Shane, and I all went out in search of the infamous bridge, and yes, we found it. We had to go all the way around this fence, but after that there was a path leading to it. It really does live up to its description. The bridge goes about nine or ten feet before two wooden wall structures block the way. It might be possible to jump the distance from the side and get to the main part, but that'd probably involve a great deal of falling. If the reader is lost, at this point, let me explain: I first read about the bridge in Lowell's literary magazine. In an old non-fiction short story from 1987, there's a description of a bridge where the writer and her friends used to hang out.

The base for the bridge was a large sewer pipe, about two and a half feet in diameter,
that spanned the canyon that slopes down from the 'trestle' path bordering the Stonestown
fence to the soccer field, which is inside the Lowell fence. A long wooden 'box' sheathed the
pipe, and there were plank walkways on either side of the 'box'. At regular intervals were
posts along the outside edge of the walkway that supported the handrail. At either end of
the bridge, where the pipe was at ground level, there was a wooden structure - probably
constructed as the bridge was condemned. Both of these walls had square holes cut through
them, where we could crawl through from either side.

God, it's so exciting knowing that we're bordering on uncovering history here. It's like digging up something, an old house maybe, and actually being able to use it. The idea of bringing an ax of some sort and some wire cutters was proposed, and though it seems a little far-fetched, that's probably the only way to get through. If it actually works, good times may abound. I can just imagine all the exciting possibilities. It was definitely set off-limits at one point, as there's barbed wire at the top of the wooden wall. There's supposed to be a view of the Pacific Ocean on clear days, though. And I have no idea where to get an ax.
***
For Christ's sake, I'm missing out on poetry night. There'll probably be dozens more of these things; I really felt like going, though. I bet they lit candles, too.

I swear that time seems to go faster when staring at a stopwatch instead of just looking at the second hand on a normal clock or watch. Maybe it's the milliseconds going by so quickly, but I could stare at a stopwatch for a few minutes before actually realizing how much time had gone by. My watch's stopwatch was on for half an hour before I noticed that it was still going (no, I wasn't staring at it).
***
Have you ever gotten the feeling that you're better than people? Then a few minutes later you just feel average again. But for those strange few minutes you can't stand being in the same room as anyone, for fear of having to listen to all the mindless things that come out of their brain. This afternoon in World Lit, I went a few minutes early, because I didn't have anything to do, and I figured that I'd just hang out there until class (a few other people do that, too). Some of the others in the room started a discussion about the short story that we just read, "The Killers." A girl said that she didn't like it, because there wasn't enough description, and the character that we had to analyze hardly said anything (that's not true, by the way). Then another guy started dissing Hemingway, and he ended up saying something like, "Maybe that's why he committed suicide: he realized he'd written all these stories and they all sucked." I mean, you don't need to particularly like an author to at least have some respect for the influence that he had on writers in general. I didn't say anything, of course. It's sort of useless to argue with people sometimes.
***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Amateur l lyrics]
mood: mellow

2003-10-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

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i've been up all damn night long; my pulse is beating

2003-10-16T21:24:00.000-07:00

What a nice day: good and foggy. I developed my first picture today at photography club: a photo of the St. Louis Arch taken by my dad when he was there a few months ago during a business trip. Even though the photo paper is for black-and-white pictures and the negative is in color, it turned out pretty nicely. Being in a dark room with a shining red lightbulb makes me really dizzy, similar to a strobe light, I'm thinking. Anyways, developing photographs is fun, and I'm looking forward to doing it again next Thursday. Someone told me that there are black-and-white disposable cameras for sale, which I didn't know. I'll have to pick one up for cheap sometime.

One thing that just made me feel like a fool is the realization that the line in Incubus's Stellar is "you are steeEEEEeellaaaar" instead of a drawn-out "busteeeeeeEEEeeeeeEEeeeeeeed." You'd need to listen to the song to understand what I'm talking about. But it really makes more sense that way.

Shane's going to Berkeley for Cal History Day on Saturday for extra credit, and I'm going along as well. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do there, but there's free breakfast and lunch, so 2/3 of my Saturday food is covered. I think it'll also be the first time that I take BART across the Bay Bridge and such; I'll be experiencing the joys of public transportation for the first time in a while. I can't even remember the last time I took the bus.

I'm setting aside time to study for Biology, because I'm barely slipping by with an A- in that class. By barely, I mean .55% barely. So, there's that, and I don't have too much to say today. I saw a guy with a Strong Bad hoodie, which was cool. And the Yankees are going to the World Series.
***
[listening to: Incubus - Stellar acoustic l lyrics]
mood: lazy

every time I take a look around, I find myself looking down

2003-10-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

If I had a bowl of alphabet soup, I'd spell,
"Y-O-U R-U-L-E A-N-D Y-O-U A-R-E S-O A-V-E-R-A-G-E, Y-O-U B-A-S-T-A-R-D."
It'd probably be ice cold by the time I finished writing it out.

So many people play guitar at my school, it's embarassing almost.
"What instrument do you play again?"
"Guitar."
"Oh, that."

Someone didn't actually say that to me, but I have a picture of that in my mind. I had a semi-duel with the other Vincent during lunchtime again. I came prepared with Everlong by the Foo Fighters, which I played on acoustic. When I started to tune to Drop D, a guy said, "Oh, are you playing Aerials?" No, System Of A Down is not the only band who uses this tuning; please, listen to some good music. I try not to shove my musical likes and dislikes down people's throats, and I didn't say anything, but I find it very trying sometimes. Shane played a ditty that went a little something like this:
"There was a squirrel.
There was a girl. The squirrel liked to eat nuts,
and so did the girl."

Needless to say, this was an impromptu performance, and he didn't even need to know any chords in order to rock the general audience's socks off. They left after that.

I went to the Musician's club afterschool today, which lasted a good thirty minutes or so. It took me a twelfth of an hour to find the room. It should've been obvious, but being me, I wandered around and looked at the numbers above doors for awhile before I actually located it (it turned up in the art wing). My friend was already there, and he'd brought his guitar, so I played that for a bit.

max: "Dude, they have free Crunch bars."
me: "Are you sure they're free?"
::he takes two and shoves one to me::
girl: "Are you guys buying or selling those?"

I started to play the keyboard intro to Ozma's "If I Only Had A Heart," but as soon as I did, a lady walked into the room and asked me I could please stop playing the piano, as we were only supposed to be using one (there were at least two dozen pianos in that room, most likely more). At one point, I was playing Everlong again, and a guy who used to go to my school noticed it and he actually knew it. I guess that's a good measure of my ability; someone can identify what I'm playing. A few people said they liked my weezer shirt, too. Come to think of it, I ate one Crunch bar on the way home, and I think there's another one in my bag. I'll save it for tomorrow. Candy never gets old.
***
Thinking about which book to choose for a report, I went to my bookshelf and found an old copy of Jack Kerouac's On The Road. Reading the last paragraph (which my dad had tried to get me to glance over many times in the past) over again, I think about how crazy and, maybe, great that journey must've been.

So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old
broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over
New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one
unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all
that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it,
and in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in
the land where they let the children cry, and tonight the
stars'll be out, and don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?
the evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler
dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete
night that blesses the earth, darkens all rivers, cups the
peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows
what's going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn
rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old
Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty.
***
One of my pictures finally got accepted at stock.xchng. I won't say which one, but I'm surprised that it did. I need to remember to bring negatives to the Photography club tomorrow. The math test went alright, though I didn't get any time to check over my work. I literally finished writing at the exact moment Ms. Delfine said to put our pencils down. There's not much homework, but I should study. When I was studying for my subject in the Decathlon in the eighth grade, science, Ms. Hill told me, "This stuff you're learning is high school level science." What a lucky bastard I am, I thought. I really wasn't, though. Oh God, I wasn't. I'm considering poetry night on Friday, just to listen.
***
[listening to: Ozma - The Ups And Downs l lyrics]
mood: relieved

sitting on a train, reading a book

2003-10-14T17:22:00.000-07:00

The only thing that's been on my mind all day is my horrible, gut-wrenching, unpleasant, awful, vile, dreadful, disgusting, horrid, horrendous, terrible, unbearable, atrocious, unspeakable, ghastly, appalling stomachache. Now that it's passed, however, there seems to be little for me to think or speak about. There was a power outage around 2:00 p.m. today, and I was sitting in the library while it happened. For some reason, they locked the doors to the locker rooms, so we couldn't get changed for p.e. We ended up congregating on the bleachers and walking two laps around the track. Then I got the hell out of there.

I became incredulous after Shane threw a bowl of sweet and sour pork onto the freshly painted wall next to the bench during lunch. I surprised myself, actually. Maybe I have a high respect for public property, or at least public property that I have to look at every day. I keep having a mental picture of the janitor wiping off the wall with a towel, picking up the food, and walking a few steps over to the garbage can that's conveniently placed next to the bench. That's why littering in schools, especially public schools, is horrible. How could you live with yourself?! You have to see the janitors every day. What if they saw you throwing something on the ground? Could you really live with the fact that you made the janitor spend an extra minute or two picking up something that you would've had no trouble throwing away yourself? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks about these things. (I hadn't noticed how hungry I was until now. I just had two pieces of pizza, a package of Hello Panda, chips, and two glasses of milk.)
***
It looks like the hit counter is nearing 666, which, as we all know, is the NUMBER OF THE BEAST! :inane laughter, followed by awkward silence: I can't believe how much time I've spent on this thing during the past one-and-a-half short months. At times I've wanted to give up and just completely forget about it, but these arduous, steep, and demanding forty or so days have been, well, very tiring, actually. I shall keep this blog around 'til the day I no longer possess the ability to type or think.
***
teacher: what i'm saying is you shouldn't base your
entire self-worth on a grade
guy: i don't care about grades, though. it's my parents who care
teacher: well, what could you do to make them ease up a little
another guy: give your mom sedatives
- Modern World class

I, however, have gotten a 96 and I feel better knowing that I'm doing well in a class.
***

***
[listening to: Incubus - I Miss You acoustic l lyrics]
mood: mellow

well there's one old southpaw you will always fight

2003-10-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

I finished my essay and it's pretty damn good. I mostly spent my whole day here in front of the computer. Learned a few new acoustic songs, tried to take some pictures, and bounced a tennis ball off the walls. It's been a pretty good day. I just realized that I have nothing I need to be doing for the next few sweet, sweet hours before I go to sleep. Ah, freedom, your divine taste heartens me.
***
when you're riding the rails with those wide open eyes,
well there's one old southpaw you will always fight.
and alone, on a worn out throne is the reigning Queen of the Questions
why we blind footed toddlers ever started out.

so don't get into me when I goose step
across the kitchen floor, you know I still adore
all your mother's old-fashioned ways.
so impressed that you hear my inventions.
and that it matters more than what you saw with your eyes.

go along with the plan, your head is still right there where you put it-
under the bed, with the ice cream you could never find.
and at night you go to bed and dream of the world to be what you wanted-
you've got that girly draw, now flaunt it,
and keep them all checking their watches when you're out tonight.
so don't get into me when I goose step
across the kitchen floor, you know I still adore, are your eyes changing heads?
ao impressed that you hear my inventions.
and that it matters more than what you saw with your eyes.
***
e gyptsuckz7: oceans are salty from the amount of salt from the rocks!
e gyptsuckz7: or salt rocks
e gyptsuckz7: or some shit
P uNk EdRo Ck41: no
P uNk EdRo Ck41: it's because
P uNk EdRo Ck41: the earth used to be made of salt mines
P uNk EdRo Ck41: and then one day
P uNk EdRo Ck41: it started raining
P uNk EdRo Ck41: on the salt mines
P uNk EdRo Ck41: and so
P uNk EdRo Ck41: the salt is from the ground up bones of the salt miners
***
e gyptsuckz7: the fuck i know
***
[listening to: The Shins - When I Goose Step]
mood: relaxed

syncopated time

2003-10-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

It's a Monday and I'm at home. No, I'm not sick. It's Columbus Day, Indigenous Peoples Day, and a whole bunch of other things, but the only relevance it has is that I have no school. It's kind of ironic that it's Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples Day at the same time, and one is just a politically correct cover-up for another that's politically incorrect.

I just found out that I won't be getting any more contacts until this Friday, and I've already worn the current pair for over two weeks, which is supposed to be the suggested wearing time. I have the choice of wearing my current pair for the next four days or wearing my horn rims and looking like an emo kid. Maybe I should sleep on it a bit. I guess my mom's more of an active problem solver, whereas I'd prefer to do things in more of a passive way. She just finished yelling at the contact people on the phone after she got put on hold three times (let's hope she never reads this). Myself, I would probably just sit through something like that and maybe find something to pass the time. I don't know, maybe yelling gets things done sometimes, but I don't think of myself as a person who would necessarily scream at a stranger.

I'm torn between burning Let Go by Nada Surf or actually purchasing it. Well, I know I'm going to be buying Proximity Effect anyways, so I might as well burn this and then decide if I want to buy another copy. Nobody's online, there's nothing to do, and I'm straining to write my World Lit paper by tomorrow. What's the point of making us handwrite it?

I wish I could think of a topic for my graduate degree thesis.
***

***
[listening to: Pavement - Elevate Me Later l lyrics]
mood: optimistic

but before we begin, is there nothing to kill this anxiety?

2003-10-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Sweden lost the Women's World Cup. Yes, I did watch it, and no, I'm not sure when I started cheering for Sweden. But it sure was a kick in the face when Germany headed in the golden goal during overtime.

Still working hard on homework and things. I decided that I couldn't really afford new speakers now, so I'm opting for the next best thing: putting them at a higher elevation. I'm not even sure if it sounds better or not, and it looks pretty dorky with the wires hanging down and everything. My mom made me take down the picture of Arnold that I'd put next to the computer screen (it's in their room. it sucks, but the fact remains), so now it's taped to my door.

If you say that doesn't creep you out, you're a liar.
***
Maybe the speakers are better this way. I almost missed a phone call just now, and only picked up after a message was being left. That, or maybe I just had them louder for the Strokes. I'm looking forward to the release of Room On Fire as well (October 28th, I believe). The video for 12:51 is up too. Check it out! I usually don't like cgi or anything that remotely resembles it, but the effects in the video really fit and are pretty good.
***
If anyone knows where to get iron-on prints, heat-transfer paper, photo-transfer paper [all pretty much the same thing, I think (if not, shoot me for my ignorance, or uh, I guess you don't have to)], could you please let me know somehow? I'm trying to make t-shirts that go farther than just words written with a black Sharpie. Sharpie's aren't that permanent either. I just got my shirts back from the wash, and I'll be needing to fill them in again.
***

ISTP - "Artisan". Impulsive action. Life should be of impulse rather than of purpose. Action is an end to itself. Fearless, craves excitement, master of tools. 5% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Conscious self	Overall self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 3	Ambition	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 4	Sensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 8	Hostility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%

Your Conscious-Surface type is 9w1
Your Unconscious-Overall type is 3w4

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

***

***

A kind of crazy picture. The glare in back gave a pretty cool effect.
***
[listening to: The Shins - Caring Is Creepy l lyrics]
mood: chipper

silence kit, no one to remind you

2003-10-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

Right-click, save-target as, this. A new Shins song from their upcoming album, Chutes Too Narrow. I really want to see them at the Fillmore in November.

(note: it's been a good nine or ten hours since I wrote the above)

Well, I might as well add this to the links section. It's a bunch of flash films on the subject of, you guessed it, muffins. It's better than it sounds, but you could imagine that it'd be difficult to describe. Instead, I'll just urge you to visit the site and see for yourself.
I've had a pretty pleasing day. The sun flooding into my room woke me up at about 9:30 this morning. I sat around for a bit and played guitar and then went out for breakfast with the parents. I decided to have, of all things, a steak sandwich. Keep in mind that it was getting pretty near lunchtime, so my choice wasn't too out of the question. I had a chocolate milkshake, too. According to the table we're supposed to make for Biology homework, I consumed around two thousand calories from that meal alone.
(I guess I'd call it) Brunch filled me up pretty well, and afterwards I went to the bank to open a savings account, which my parents had been bugging me about for a few weeks now. It wasn't very exciting, and we only stayed for about ten minutes. All I know is that I never want to work in a bank. I'd rather work at Peasant Pies or someplace like that. Besides having damn good mini pies (I bought a chicken, potato, and vegetables one today), it seems like a more interesting place to be employed.
I bought Pavement's Crooked Rain, Crooken Rain from Tower today. A lot of trendy emo kids were there, and John Mayer was playing on the p.a. There was a really nice-looking girl in a very small sweater, but when she left I bought my cd and ran.
The rest of my day wasn't nearly as exciting. Kinko's doesn't sell iron-on prints, and I don't think I'll be able to buy any this weekend. Of all places, you'd think that Kinko's would have things like that. "We don't, actually. Try Office Depot."

I promise myself that Sunday is going to be filled with homework, and that, hopefully, by the time Monday rolls around, it'll be gone.
***
[listening to: Pavement - Unfair l lyrics]
mood: full

i feel like a quote out of context

2003-10-10T16:47:00.000-07:00

It feels like it's only been five minutes since I left this morning. I went out, took a little five minute stroll, and came back home. I think it'll be okay to go into everything that happened, as it's pretty interesting. It started out with Biology, where I found out I had an overall B. We looked at a moving projection, which was an animation of the process of photosynthesis inside of a thylakoid. Mr. Wenning kept using the shadow of his finger to point at things on the projection, which kind of creeped me out, as I've never seen someone do that before. Our World Lit class met in the library today, where we were supposed to find a book to check out. The librarian ended up showing us literally three or four dozen books, complete with short verbal summaries for each one. This lasted the entire period. We have a week to find a book. I figure I'll just do my report on The Stranger, which I finished today, and would save me a lot of time, which I could spend thinking over the story instead of actually reading a new one. I hope I don't have trouble with interpretation and whatnot. We had a substitute for Spanish. This wasn't just any substitute. This was a strange old man with huge glasses, strange speech patterns, and white combover. To start things off, he had trouble writing with a marker (he called them wet crayons or something like that) on a whiteboard, and he told us that he was used to writing with chalk. What he was writing on the board was the questions for a homework quiz. Naturally, since everyone was already so talkative, cheating was abundant. Then we watched about five minutes of a film on students taking trips to Spain. We didn't get a chance to finish it because he couldn't get anyone to be quiet, and they all tried to tell him that class ended ten minutes earlier, and that we'd be late for registry if we didn't leave soon. The homework is to write a summary on the film, but since we didn't finish it, I'm assuming that no one's doing it. Aside from the that fact, a girl in the back announced to everyone (including the sub) that we should all blow off the summary, and naturally, we couldn't all get in trouble. Makes sense, actually.

I just remembered I forgot to get the SAT information packet my mom told me to pick up. The reason I didn't is a long story. We'd all the four of us just finished lunch and were walking down to the bench where we usually sit. There was a bunch of kids playing electric guitars (unplugged). One of them I know from photography club and another is in my Spanish class, but the rest I wasn't familiar with. Shane started telling them that I could school them (not exact wording) and such, so they proposed an impromptu competition of sorts, with the bet being a dollar. Ignoring my insistence that I was definitely not that great, the kid in my Spanish class handed me his guitar (a cheap Epiphone) and a pick. The thing you've got to understand is that I have trouble playing in front of people, especially if you're telling me I'm participating in a competition. Before I could think of any songs to play, the guy I knew from photography club (also named vincent) whipped out the intro to Stairway to Heaven. Besides being the most overrated song of all time, maybe, I'd attempted to play it about a year ago and given up after awhile. I'm not saying it isn't good; I could play it if I practiced. But I don't think it's such a great achievement to play. Of course, after he finished his par rendition of Stairway, they all looked to me for something that could "beat" it. I really hate being put on the spot, and anything I do under pressure is going to be sloppy, but I tossed out the solo from Undone and the intro to Smells Like Teen Spirit. Sub-par choices, I know, but like I said, whenever somebody tells me to just "play something," my mind goes blank. Anyways, it seems these mall punks weren't impressed, though I hadn't expected them to be. So he shoots out the exact same thing! Later on I asked if they'd heard of the Cure; they hadn't. So I start playing the intro to Boy's Don't Cry. Still unimpressed. This went on for about a quarter hour. I sit there with a weird look on my face, crappy red Epiphone in my arms, pick in hand, trying to go over songs I know, but coming up short each time. Well, it finally ends so everyone can go to class, and the other guy has a triumphant air about him. At this point I felt like beating the shit out of him, though we all know it's not wise to act on impulses. After math, I saw Vincent in the hall and he showed me his amp that he kept in his locker, of all places. We talked about guitar and things, and he proposed a draw, though still saying he was better. Of all things, I let it slide.
***
I have too many things I want to do this three-day weekend, one of which involves going to Borders or Tower and buying myriad cd's. Galore, galore, I say; the more the merrier. Productive weekend on the way, and I'm just waiting for it to come and swallow me whole, like the ocean tide coming in. Three days will go by quickly, just like the tide must go back out as well. It's all relative, isn't it?
***

***
[listening to: Ben Folds Five - Army l lyrics]
mood: satisfied

show me, show me, show me!

2003-10-10T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at the computer feeling cold in my t-shirt. (yawning repetitively) It's 7:50 a.m., and I have still have about an hour before I need to start walking to school. I really have no idea what to do now. (chronic yawning problem) An optimist might say it's brisk. The sun is out, but I'm still freezing inside, where it should be warmer. (my foot's falling asleep as well) Maybe I should've woken up an hour or two later like every other sane person at my school today, but I know from experience that alarms don't always wake me, and I hate the sinking feeling you get when you wake up and see that it's two hours later than when you planned on waking. Perhaps that's why naps don't refresh me. (never bang on a table with cold hands) I remember getting rides to school, and having been a recipient of these numerous shuttles, walking when I could have been sitting in a vehicle that would've taken me to my destination seemed alien to me. But I've warmed up to walking, and you might even say that I actually like it. I can tell the sun's going to be in my eyes this morning; it always is on days like this. I think I might just change early and sit down at the computer again.
***

Brrr! You're a WINTER STORM.
You get very quiet when you're angry.
Most people would call you heartless and cold,
but that's only because you don't tell them what's
really on your mind.

What DIRE WEATHER FORECAST do you turn into when you're angry?
brought to you by Quizilla
***
I don't care if monday's blue
tuesday's grey and wednesday too
thursday I don't care about you
it's friday I'm in love

monday you can fall apart
tuesday wednesday break my heart
thursday doesn't even start
it's friday I'm in love

saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...

I don't care if monday's black
tuesday wednesday heart attack
thursday never looking back
it's friday I'm in love

monday you can hold your head
tuesday wednesday stay in bed
orthursday watch the walls instead
it's friday I'm in love

saturday wait
and sunday always comes too late
but friday never hesitate...

dressed up to the eyes
it's a wonderful surprise
to see your shoes and your spirits rise
throwing out your frown
and just smiling at the sound
and as sleek as a shriek
spinning round and round
always take a big bite
it's such a gorgeous sight
to see you in the middle of the night
you can never get enough
enough of this stuff
it's friday
I'm in love
***
[listening to: The Cure - Friday I'm In Love l lyrics]
mood: calm

I feel like lighting a bunch of firecrackers and then running away

2003-10-09T17:42:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to Death Cab For Cutie songs that I downloaded from this site. Also listening to a song from School Of Rock, which further makes me want to see it. (I swear I thought he said "rock out to weezer" at around 2:33.) Everything Jack Black is in turns mad crazy: mad crazily good, that is. Who doesn't like Tenacious D?

I had a photography club meeting today. They brought in a photo enlarger that projects the negatives so that you can actually make prints of them. We're supposed to bring in black and white negatives next Thursday, if we can. They'll have all the chemicals and things set up. S205 is going to be turned into one kickass darkroom! I drew a bunch of things on the board, which is a whiteboard, making it easier to both write and erase.

girl: what is that, an ambulance?
I write ambulance on it
girl: it looks like a temple on wheels

Anyways, school was easy today, just in general. I was surprised at the fact that, not only was it easy, but there's hardly any homework due tomorrow, and school starts at 9:20. I think this is another case of having too much time on my hands. I'm also nearly finished re-reading The Stranger. I almost read the entire book today, because, again, I had too much free time. Usually people don't complain about having too much time to do nothing, but I think I work better if I do things at the last minute. Maybe not, but it sounds cooler this way.

I'm through doing resource forever. That is, if all my grades are higher than a C-, which I'm pretty sure they are. I found out I have a B in math, and that's not too bad. Maybe this is wrong, but I feel better about my grades now that I know Jonathan has a C in geometry.
(By the way, sorry about this.) The weather improved my mood today, but I think I might've gotten burned. I'm not exactly looking forward to skin cancer. I got a bunch of bark thrown at me, and I think it's still in my hair.
***
A mi me gusta escuchar musica rock. (+ the correct accent marks and such.)
***
Maybe I shall be taking some pictures. I wish I had a digital camera that was longer than three inches. I might consider joining the musicians club, but I need to make sure I can play something that won't make me look like an ass, or worse yet, amateur.

I played a bit of emo game 2.0 last night. It amused me a lot, but I haven't the time to finish the entire thing yet.

This post seems like a collection of jerky sentences and short paragraphs collected and placed together as a whole. I probably should get started on my homework (and yes, the traditional post closer.)
***

I'm starting to get into The Cure, and I'm kicking myself for not starting sooner. I've got a terrible urge to make this into a shirt.
***
[listening to: Death Cab For Cutie - For What Reason l lyrics]
mood: cheerful

walked the sand with the crustaceans

2003-10-08T18:46:00.000-07:00

I was in a Pixies mood today, and I made this shirt before school, just like I did before with the =w= (see one of previous posts).

My classes were pretty interesting today. In Biology, we did a lab on calories that involved burning a peanut and burning a marshamallow. My partner couldn't really get the flame going, so I had to light the matches. It's pitiable, but I never knew how to light a match before today. I figured it out well enough, though, and I discovered that I really enjoy lighting them. I don't even need to light something on fire; lighting the match is good enough for me.

World Lit is turning into one of my favorite classes, and if we keep on reading good stories, it probably will be. We talked about
Indian Camp today, and I have to say that I've an incredible affinity for this sort of thing. I just found the whole class very exciting.

Somebody took my booth, desk, or however you call it in the library today. I was only two or three minutes late, but all the good ones were taken, and I didn't feel like sitting at a big table with everyone. I'd already spent thirty-five minutes of lunch in the library at one of the tables with my friends, so some of my work was already done. I'm pretty sure that I sat for a good fifteen minutes in a lone chair near the back, facing shelves of books, reading all the titles on the spines. When the library's really quiet, you feel like you're making a huge racket zipping up your backpack. I decided to go in the courtyard, which I discovered was pretty sparse at that time. I read for a while and went to p.e.
***

A new Strong Bad email has arrived at Homestar Runner, conveniently located in the links section.
***
me: i like those butterscotch cookies from mrs. field's
shane: i like my mom's cookies.......
uh.....that she makes....
.....in her hot oven..
..on the weekends.....
***
Well, I'm taking a break right now. This post has been compiled over a span of two hours, with a sentence added every few minutes, during frequent breaks from my homework. I heard that a Russian got beat up by two Chinese guys. Yeah, it always works out so that I only hear about these things from somebody else. Whatever happened to first hand experience? I convinced a few people to not take the PSAT this year, as they probably won't even remember it in two years. "Take it sophomore year," I said. What a guy I am.
***
[listening to: Promise Ring - Forget Me l lyrics]
mood: satisfied

I am a scientist - I seek to understand me

2003-10-07T18:11:00.000-07:00

All of my impurities and evils yet unknown
I am a journalist - I write to you to show you
I am an incurable
And nothing else behaves like me

And I know what's right
But I'm losing sight
Of the clues for which I search and choose
To abuse
To just unlock my mind
Yeah, and just unlock my mind

I am a pharmacist
Prescriptions I will fill you
Potions, pills and medicines
To ease your painful lives
I am a lost soul
I shoot myself with rock & roll
The hole I dig is bottomless
But nothing else can set me free

And I know what's right
But I'm losing sight
Of the clues for which I search and choose
To abuse
To just unlock my mind
Yeah, and just unlock my mind

I am a scientist - I seek to understand me
I am an incurable and nothing else behaves like me

Everything is right
Everything works out right
Everything fades from sight
Because that’s alright with me
***
pictures of my mp3 player, both terribly blurry, i know. a new camera will come soon

***
e gyptsuckz7: quickie...
e gyptsuckz7: it's a type of sex
P uNk EdRo Ck41: hahahaha
P uNk EdRo Ck41: i know
***
[listening to: Guided By Voices - I Am A Scientist l lyrics]
mood: even colder

it's as simple as something that nobody knows

2003-10-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

I won't bother worrying about grades anymore. I figure it'll even out somehow; things always have a way of doing that. Anyways, what's the point of worrying if you can't do anything about it? All you can do is try, and That I can damn well do. I got a C on my Math test. It's not too bad; I expected worse. My average quiz/homework grade is an A-, so it evens that out, like I said.

Our skit about John Locke (graciously performed during Modern World) went okay. It wasn't too exciting, but I there was some laughter when I burst through the door.

*John Locke bursts through random door*
JL: Your wife is correct, and you couldn't be more wrong.

That should give a pretty good idea of the basic premise. On the subject of philosophers, my friend was reading me his speech in the library this morning. It had to do with building a new school with the name of a famous philosopher; in this case, Thomas Hobbes.

...four years of math and four years of science.
There's also a class on solving problems without using
violence, which the students have to take for one year.
Since Thomas Hobbes was a pacifist, the school's
mascot is a turtle. (me: turtles are slow and dumb....)
continues reading: This school is better than Lowell. Go Turtles!

He went on to tell me about how the football players' helmets would be turtle shells.
***
it's a crying shame I'm all alone
not with you, nor her, nor anyone
won't you knock me on my head?
crack it open, let me out of here

It's ironic that the one time I remember that quote (from Why Bother?, by the way) I don't actually feel that way. Or, I might. It depends on how you look at it, really.

Getting away from that, someone told me their friend thought I was sexy. me: Don't be shy baby, there's enough for everyone. No, I didn't really say that, but I should've. It would've been so cool. (Sarcasm is the lowest form of irony.)
***
I realized that pretension is hard not to come by. Whatever someone does, someone somewhere will perceive it as phony. I like walking with my hands in my pockets, for instance. Someone might think that I think I'm better than them because of that. Really, all it is is my hands might be cold.

"I used to think she was quite intelligent in
my stupidity. The reason I did was because she knew
quite a lot about the theatre and plays and
literature and all that stuff. If somebody knows
quite a lot about those things, it takes you
quite a while to find out whether they're really stupid or not."

There's a Holden Caulfield in all of us, I'm telling you. Just that cynicism, is what every sane person in the world has.

"I'd never yell 'Good Luck!' at anybody.
It sounds terrible, when you think about it."

Along with "nice try," that's one of the phrases that makes me cringe every time. What is "nice try" but a cover-up for "great job, fuck up." Someone'll only say it after you've failed at something.

"I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by . . .
I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by,
but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it.
If you don't, you feel even worse."

I actually wrote this one in our eighth grade yearbook. It felt very proper for the occassion, but my face flushes when I think about it now.
***
We read Indian Camp by Hemingway in World Lit today, and it's one of the more interesting short stories that we've read so far. I'm going to cut this entry short to start on my homework.
***
[listening to: Jack Johnson - Bubble Toes l lyrics]
mood: cold

here i stand, head in hand, turn my face to the wall

2003-10-06T16:45:00.000-07:00

A day filled with highs and lows. Maybe not that many lows. First off, I hate accelerated math, or any math for that matter. Well, maybe not. (I'm full of contradictions; no, I'm really not.) I wish I'd actually studied for my math test. There were eight difficult (in my opinion) questions on the test, the last with five parts. Well, I only finished six of them (luckily, I did the last one). I don't think that's ever happened to me before. Even if I got a bad grade, I know that I at least finished the entire test. My school's supposed to be competitive; when, exactly, did schools become breeding grounds for hateful competition between peers. Whatever happened to good ole education for the sake of learning? Anyways, she said that they might be passed back tomorrow, and I'm definitely not looking forward to that.
***
I had a conversation filled lunch today (pun unintended: conversation is not to be ingested). Some interesting highlights:

a guy sits down right next to us, uncomfortably close
he leaves a while later, after he finishes his lunch
Shane: thank......fucking.......god

Jonathan: hey look, that guy's eating a chicken nugget with a spork
each turns to look at the guy
*spontaneous laughter breaks out*

Me: where's chris today? is he jewish (referring to Yom Kippur, as
a lot of Jewish people were absent today because of it)
*everyone but me breaks out in spontaneous laughter*
***
I was feeling a bit down after the math test (sounds incredibly geeky, but it's true). All it took to cheer me up was some Ben Folds and sunshine (which, by the way, is finally coming out, blindingly so). I discovered I'm excellent at punting foam footballs; we played football in p.e. I also made up some new plays, including the "O" and the "lowercase r." Needless to say, they were a big hit.

I recommend this album: Ben Folds' Rockin' the Suburbs

Yes, that's my hand, and yes, it does look strange in that picture.

While we're on the subject of pictures (or rather, I am on the subject of pictures) here's the shirt that I made this morning, with just a Sharpie and some inspiration.

Yeah, it's a little plain and a little crooked, but I only had a few minutes, and I don't particularly enjoy drawing with my shirt off at 7:00 in the morning.
***
When I first signed onto aim there were only two people on my list and two of them were me. That sort of thing gives you a strange feeling, whether good or bad. If the world was a park, everyone else'd be the pigeons and I would be the guy riding through on a bike. And you can interpret that however you want. Go study for your Biology test. And yes, Red vines are extremely the shit. In a good way, now. In a good way.
***
I just found the link to my old site. It was my first ever website, and, as you can see, a pretty novel attempt. I think it's from some time in 2002, though I can't be completely sure. If you're feeling up to it, take a stroll down memory lane.
***
[listening to: Ben Folds - Fred Jones pt. 2 l lyrics]
mood: chipper

it feels like the tips of all my left-hand fingers are bruised

2003-10-05T21:44:00.000-07:00

I've been playing (playing=listening to+playing on guitar) "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away" by the Beatles, plus the cover by Eddie Vedder. My new acoustic strings sound fan-fucking-tastic, but they're taking a real toll on my fingers. Now I have another album to add to my buy list: Help by the Beatles. I still didn't get a chance to get Nada Surf like I'd been planning, so that'll have to wait until next weekend. Also, stock.xchng rules; it's the best place to upload photos. That plus, Paint Shop Pro, has made my life just that much more enjoyable. Maybe I'll go get my stuff ready for school, and perhaps study Biology and Math a bit.
***
Soooo good!!

***
[listening to: Beatles - You've Got To Hide Your Love Away l lyrics]
mood: satisfied

passed out in may, but then woke up in june

2003-10-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of changing strings right now. Even something like that could change my life forever. What if a string shot out and whipped me in the face? What if it blasted out and stuck into my eye? What if it slipped from my hand and jutted into my arm, where it would stay lodged forever? You've got to think about these things. Worst-case scenarios keep you alive.

I think I can safely say (without regret, of course) that Mexican food is one of the greats of the world. I just got back from Una Mas, and I'll honestly declare that there are few things better than an all-you-can-eat salsa bar. How many kinds of salsa can they have? Get this: eight! They even had a little bowl full of chopped onions. My breath smells delightful right now. Actually, I brushed with Crest Whitening, and it really is minty.

The worst weather is fog with sun shining through. The entire sky is a pearlescent white, but it's so bright that you can't look anywhere, and the glare reflects off of cars and things. Give me good ole gloomy fog any day.

In the school's literary magazine that I'm reading off and on, there's a description of a bridge where people used to hang out that's near Stonestown. Incidentally, in the narrative (non-fiction, I think), a guy falls off of the bridge down about 50 feet and can't walk after that. It's supposed to be barricaded now, but I bet you could at least see where it used to be. I think I might go look for it.
***
random pictures of room

***

How emo are you? Yeah, me too.
***
[listening to: Jack Johnson - Flake l lyrics]
mood: awake

Is it a crisis or a boring change?

2003-10-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

P uNk EdRo Ck41: stop saying your
P uNk EdRo Ck41: for you're
P uNk EdRo Ck41: that pisses me off
e gyptsuckz7: haha
P uNk EdRo Ck41: w/e!!!!!
e gyptsuckz7: hahah fuck you
P uNk EdRo Ck41: W/E!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
P uNk EdRo Ck41: haha
e gyptsuckz7: eat me
e gyptsuckz7: its inevitable
e gyptsuckz7: we grow up to become our parents
e gyptsuckz7: clones, man... clones
e gyptsuckz7: haha
P uNk EdRo Ck41: that doesn't even make sense
P uNk EdRo Ck41: how can you be two people at once
P uNk EdRo Ck41: three people
e gyptsuckz7: hahahahaa
P uNk EdRo Ck41: there's
P uNk EdRo Ck41: your mom
P uNk EdRo Ck41: your dad
P uNk EdRo Ck41: and you
e gyptsuckz7: hahaha
e gyptsuckz7: w/e!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: so essentially you're three people
e gyptsuckz7: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: no no listen
e gyptsuckz7: eat me
e gyptsuckz7: eat me
P uNk EdRo Ck41: if everyone does that
P uNk EdRo Ck41: that means
e gyptsuckz7: dick wad
e gyptsuckz7: OK
P uNk EdRo Ck41: your parents are your grandparents
e gyptsuckz7: IVE FOUND THE ERROR OF MY WAY
P uNk EdRo Ck41: so you'll eventually be your grandparents
e gyptsuckz7: FUCK OFF I NEED TO DO HW
P uNk EdRo Ck41: but your grandparents are really your great-grandparents
e gyptsuckz7: DONT GET SCIENTIFIC ON MY ASS
P uNk EdRo Ck41: so essentially
e gyptsuckz7: OR LOGICAL FOR THAT MATTER
P uNk EdRo Ck41: YOU are your GRANDPARENTS
P uNk EdRo Ck41: and
P uNk EdRo Ck41: parents
e gyptsuckz7: hahaha
P uNk EdRo Ck41: and great-grandparents
P uNk EdRo Ck41: so you are a carbon copy of your oldest ancestors!!!!!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: BY JOVE, I'VE STUMBLED UPON THE MEANING OF LIFE
e gyptsuckz7: i gotta put this in my blog, i have nothing else to write about
P uNk EdRo Ck41: IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU
P uNk EdRo Ck41: YOU BETTER NOT
P uNk EdRo Ck41: I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING
e gyptsuckz7: ha!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT IS?>!
P uNk EdRo Ck41: I SHALL TELL YOU
P uNk EdRo Ck41: ...................................................IN GOOD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!
e gyptsuckz7: hahahaha
P uNk EdRo Ck41: hahah
P uNk EdRo Ck41: that's the best
***
The sun shining through my window gives the illusion that today will be fine.
***
[listening to: Pavement - Gold Soundz l lyrics]
mood: satisfied

I feel like a quote out of context

2003-10-04T20:55:00.000-07:00

Withholding the rest
So I can be free what you want to see
I got the gesture and sound
Got the timing down
It's uncanny, yeah, you think it was me
Do you think I should take a class
To lose my southern accent
Did I make me up, or make the face till it stuck
I do the best imitation of myself

The "problem with you" speech
You gave me was fine
I liked the theories about my little stage
And I swore I was listening
But I started drifting
Around the part about me acting my age
Now if it's all the same
I've people to entertain
I juggle one handed
Do some magic tricks and
The best imitation of myself

Maybe I'm thinking myself in a hole
Wondering, who I am when I ought to know
Straighten up now time to go
Fool somebody else, fool somebody else

Last night I was east with them
And west within
Trying to be for you what you wanna see
But I can't help it with you
The good and bad comes through
Don't want you hanging out with
No one but me
Now if it's all the same
It comes from the same place
And if my mind's somewhere else
You won't be able to tell
I do the best imitation of myself
Yes it's uncanny to see
You'd really think it was me
The best imitation of myself
The best imitation of myself

One of my favorite Ben Folds songs.
***
[listening to: Ben Folds - Best Imitation Of Myself l lyrics]
mood: good

Beware: the cost of living is a one-way fare.

2003-10-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

huge picture of my eye

***

You're INDIE. Not caring for the mainstream, you
found your own niche in the vast world of non-
commercialized music. You don't feel the need
to conform, neither do you feel the need to
point this out to everyone. Recommended music:
Modest Mouse, Death Cab for Cutie

What genre of music do you fit into?
brought to you by Quizilla
***

"Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't
strike. You just go in every day and do it
really half-assed. That's the American
way!" Well, you're really really lazy. You
manage to get by, but you never put any effort
into anything you do. You most likely enjoy
watching TV, sleeping, eating, and doing stuff
of the sort. Get active. You're a fat, lazy
idiot.

Which Advice Quote said by Homer Simpson are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
***

I am the number
1
I am the loneliest number
_

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa
***

I am a giant mutant kitten. Not strange at all.

Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
***
[listening to: C-Type music in Tetris]
mood: full

engulfed by confusion, as I reflect

2003-10-04T13:36:00.000-07:00

So, you might've noticed that it's been a while since my last update (maybe not that long for others, but for those of us with daily updates, I'm behind). I'm going to try to make this post informative, as it'll sum up a lot that's happened in the past few days.

Well, the reason I haven't been online is that my internet's been down. And the reason my internet's down is because I had a virus. The reason I've got a virus (stay with me now) is because it's somehow invading the computers on my network. I used to think hackers were cool; that is, I used to think they were cool before I actually played the part of the victim. The virus my computer was infected with didn't even try to accomplish anything. All it did was exploit a hole in Internet Explorer to block google, yahoo search, etc. and change my server so that I couldn't log onto the internet. Obviously, it's fixed now, but it's been a long two days, especially for someone who goes online often (i.e. hours a day).
***
Yesterday (that is, friday) our school wrapped up spirit week with the rally. I'm sure everyone knows what a rally is, but I'll explain for those who don't (nerds!). A rally is supposed to be an event where the entire school gathers in a large place (i.e. gym, football field) and there are events and such that are supposed to promote school spirit, or at least spirit for your grade. I'd never been to a school rally before, but it seemed like ours promoted more hate than spirit. Being a freshman, we were mostly at the butt of everything. During the freshmen skit, a car that we could see from a few hundred yards away started launching water balloons [surprisingly accurately, too (one of them landed right on a chair that they were using in the skit)] and then sped away when people started noticing. Shane volunteered for the pie contest, but lost miserably. "I couldn't get my teeth through the crust."

Okay, this is when I decided to spice things the fuck up. We'd been planning this since Monday or so, but it didn't look like it was going to go off. A girl said that they needed a couple of people to run over to the bleachers on the opposite side of the field, grab the freshmen banner, and run with it across the field (all of the grades did this). My back was really hurting at the time [due to my slouching (I hate sitting on anything that doesn't have a backrest)], so I was grateful for any excuse to get up. Both Shane and I volunteered, along with some other people that I didn't really know. We went over, got the banner, and walked over to the side of the field, where we were supposed to wait to run across at a certain time. It was near the end of the rally, so the seniors were doing their skit (earlier in the day they'd creamed us, and then proceeded to egg us in the stands). We wanted to run across right then, but the others refused, and it didn't seem like we could really convince them. Both of us ditched them and started walking back to the bleachers, when I noticed that it'd be the perfect time to do it, and if not, it'd be over soon. We both took off our shirts and started running across (the seniors were still doing their skit at the time). I think the freshmen started cheering, and when I'd gotten to about the middle, I dropped down on my knees and started shouting passionately at the sky. It was pretty much a blur after that, but I remember running to the very top of the bleachers that directly faced everyone, raising my arms, and shouting at the top of my lungs. That was pretty much the extent of the whole "plan," though I can't really convey how extremely cool/crazy it was in words.

Afterwards, I saw a girl that I'd always liked walking with her boyfriend. I don't even know why, but that depressed the hell out of me. I just kept thinking about it the whole rest of the day for no particular reason. I didn't even expect to actually ever talk to her, but, I don't know, it was like walking away from a math contest with a huge trophy and someone comes up to me, throws me down, and starts kicking me in the face relentlessly. I took a melancholy walk to my house, where the internet was still down. You know what I did? I dug out my old gameboy and started playing Tetris! And maybe that wouldn't cheer anyone else up, but I decided right then and there that nothing but C-Type music in Tetris could make me happy, and I'd never like any girl whose favorite Tetris song selection wasn't the same as mine.
***
I think that above paragraph might have been a little too revealing (and if not, embarassing for sure), but I don't have the heart to delete it.

The title line is from a poem in the school's literary magazine, the myriad, that my parents bought for me on back to school night. I finally watched Fight Club for the first time, and I'm not sure what to think about it. It was definitely good and entertaining and all those similar adjectives and I understood it for the most part.

Anyways, the Giants just lost to the Marlins in the playoffs. I think I'll go organize my Spanish binder. It's 1:32 and I want to do something productive. I feel pretty sure that I've gotten out everything that I'd wanted to say. Ebonics suck.
***
He never thought that he would leave so soon.
Passed out in May, but then woke up in June, hanging over July.
Security! Security!
Beware: the cost of living is a one-way fare.
I'm pulling the alarm, so get in or get out.
His polyester sticks out in the crowd.
It's true, there is such a thing as too loud - but I won't let him know.
White lipstick smeared upon my bathroom mirror.
He stuck me with the bill - but I don't care.
I'm pulling the alarm, so get in or get out.
Ugly or pretty, it's still my city.
Make up your mind and get in or get out!
Say what you will, but get in or get out!
We never thought that he would leave this town.
We always thought that he would hang around, getting old with the rest.
Jean jackets folded on his closet shelf.
The weather begs for leather coats... Ah well.
I'm pulling the alarm, so get in or get out.

***
[listening to: Hot Hot Heat - Get In Or Get Out l lyrics]
mood: chipper

and the meek shall inherit the music

2003-10-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Jesus, I haven't been online all day, and I feel out of the loop. My internet's been mysteriously down since I got home at about four. I have way too many daily things that I do online, so I'm very behind now, and making up for lost time. (new picture at exploding dog, by the way. In the meantime, I've been doing as little homework as I can (no, not really, I finished it all, but it sounds cooler this way) and printing out things for our group presentation on John Locke, the fabulous philosopher of the European Enlightenment. It's for Modern World, by the way, if you hadn't caught on. We didn't even do our fashion show for Spanish, but like the fool I am, I wore my clothes anyways. It wasn't too bad, considering that it just consisted of a t-shirt and pants, which is what I wear every day, mostly. (If you wear green, someone's bound to ask you, "Is green your favorite color?" or comment in some way. It doesn't even specifically matter what you're wearing that's green, but, I digress) I'm going to have to wear the same thing again tomorrow, so I hope it's not dirty or soaked with sweat or anything. The other groups that went today were pretty horrible, with the exception of one, who was decent. That takes all the possible pressure off of us. How could we not do better than pretty horrible?

We threw footballs around in p.e. I have a "nice throw," so the teacher said. Mm...yeah. Was it conceited of me to include the one lame, false comment that I got today? No sir. They were foam balls, though, if that makes a difference. I'm sure it does.

I bought a bag of mini Krispy Kreme donuts from Albertson's, as a change from my usual Jones. I read on the back that there are 15 grams of fat for every two donuts. Mind you, these are just mini donuts. That's 7.5 grams of fat each. I mean, I eat them in two bites, and I could cut it down to one if I wanted. Other people could probably shove five of these things in their mouth at one time and pay for another bag as they're chomping the previous ones down.
***
It's much too late to get into the things I wanted to talk about. I had this wonderfully long post all planned out this afternoon, but I don't like writing at night, in fear of waking up the next morning and thinking less of myself. I should probably stop now; it's only nine, though. Nothing seems to be worth mentioning today. I should've gone to the musician's club afterschool. I didn't actually have an instrument with me, though. I would've joined band, even, if I could play a marching band instrument. No, I'm just stuck with the guitar. Who plays the guitar, anyways?
***
weezur7: you know what i think
weezur7: ?
NemeraldN: no
weezur7: i will tell you
NemeraldN: i don't want to know
weezur7: ...................in good time
weezur7: hahahhahahah
weezur7: hahahhahhhaha
NemeraldN: stop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
weezur7: HAHAHAH
***
weezur7: hahaha
weezur7: that's the greatest conversatin
weezur7: *o
weezur7: i've heard
weezur7: in all my days in the service
NemeraldN: psh
weezur7: what
weezur7: you don't find it hilarious?
weezur7: as i DO?
NemeraldN: NO!
weezur7: :-)
NemeraldN: you know what I find funny?
weezur7: i will tell you
weezur7: ......................
weezur7: in good time
weezur7: hahahhahahahhaa
NemeraldN: no
weezur7: hahahahahhhaha
weezur7: haHAHAHAHAHAH
weezur7: MEEEHAHHAAHAHFAFAFAFKAKAKAKA
weezur7: *collapsed lung*
weezur7: woops
weezur7: forgot my collapsed lung
NemeraldN: uh....
weezur7: HEEEEEEEEEEEEE
weezur7: would you like to hear my views
weezur7: on various topics
weezur7: ?
weezur7: well, my friend,
weezur7: i shall tell you
weezur7: ...........................IN GOOD TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
weezur7: MUAHAHAHHAA
weezur7: hello?
weezur7: hello?
***
weezur7: ......................ingoodtime?!
NemeraldN: stop
NemeraldN: or i will have to abandon this conversation
weezur7: i love turning the caps lock button on and off
weezur7: it's so responsive
NemeraldN: no really?
weezur7: do it with the num lock
weezur7: and make it like one of those flashing signs
NemeraldN: what the hell?
weezur7: now add scroll lock!
weezur7: i got confused about which was which
weezur7: man
NemeraldN: you are crazy
weezur7: i wanted some capital letters
weezur7: but then i noticed
weezur7: I CAN'T SCROLL!
weezur7: and then i wanted to scroll
weezur7: AND I WAS TYPING NUMBERS!
***
[listening to: White Stripes - Apple Blossom l lyrics]
mood: aggravated

I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'

2003-09-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

***
[listening to: Counting Crows - A Long December l lyrics]
mood: sleepy

Ages past shells and bits of bone forming new limestone

2003-09-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

Something interesting happened today, if only for a few minutes. I was walking from registry to my next class, Modern World, which is on the second floor. I walked into the main building and started to go up the staircase that I usually use, when I saw that it was surprisingly empty. Usually, there are at least a couple other kids going up or down at the same time, but I was the only one today. I got to the top and opened the door.

teacher in the hall: I'm sorry, you can't come up this way.
me: But my class is right he- (it was right around the corner, and probably
would've taken about two steps for me to get inside)
teacher: You can't come this way, there's an emergency.

I started going back down the stairs, when one of the deans ran past me with her walkie-talkie, yelling something about someone being sick. They herded us around to make way in the halls, and I finally saw a lady being carried by on a stretcher. She looked sick as hell, and her face was plastered with sweat; she had a weird look in her eyes. I figured she'd had a nervous breakdown or had fainted. Someone told me it was a teacher.
I guess that's the price they have to pay to educate the next generation: frequent mental breakdowns. Well, maybe not frequent, but something pretty awful must have happened to her. I'm still waiting for a fight to break out during school hours.
***
My hair is getting really long. I plan on growing a ponytail, so that I can finally wear my tye-dye shirt. Anyways, I don't feel up to writing about my day, and nothing much happened except for the incident that I'd mentioned before. My p.e. teacher said that she's making us go to the football game on friday after the rally, which coincides with the meeting of the Bob Dylan club, which I'd been planning to go to since last friday. I bet I can get out of it, though. You can't force someone to watch a sporting event, can you? I don't really do anything afterschool; I just come straight home. But you know what, I'm fine with that. Franky, I don't feel the need to go hang out, and I'm sure if I tried, it'd just end up in an awkward situation where I wished I could go home right away. (Wow, I just put down a perfect description of a L054R!)
Everyone was blowing these really huge, long red horns today. I wanted to buy one, but I didn't have enough money with me.

So, I'll get started on my homework and find something interesting to post if I've time later.
***
[listening to: Rilo Kiley - Bulletproof (I haven't been italicizing the song names lately, but I'm sure nobody's noticed, and I guess it's not that important anyways. I'll do it whenever I actually remember to.) l lyrics]
mood: exanimate

there's just a balance, of the things you know

2003-09-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

Interesting conversation I had

Sees a copy of "The Lord Of the Flies"
( to the guy who sits next to me in Modern World)
me: so, you're reading lord of the flies? It's good isn't it?
guy: Oh, I don't know. I haven't read it. I downloaded all the notes online.
me: So how come you're at a certain page?
guy: what?
me: Why did you mark a certain page?
guy: oh, I couldn't get the notes for the last chapter, so I have to read it.
***
NemeraldN (7:04:38 PM): whats up home boy
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:04:50 PM): brb
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:04:54 PM): i'm avoiding you
NemeraldN (7:05:04 PM): thanks :-*
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:05:41 PM): like the plague, baby, like the plague
NemeraldN (7:05:57 PM): that turns me on
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:19:36 PM): haha
NemeraldN (7:26:01 PM): VINCENT
NemeraldN (7:26:05 PM): you turn me on baby
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:27:37 PM): thanks kristen
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:27:39 PM): woops
P uNk EdRo Ck41 (7:27:40 PM): wrong im
***
ENGLISH ESSAY HERE I COME MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!! (meant to be said in one fast breath)
***
I am 32% Emo

Hmm.. I should stop listening to Dashboard Confessional.... enough said... Now that I stopped looking at my shoes, I know how the real world looks.

Take the Emo Test at fuali.com
***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Hyperspace l lyrics]
mood: amused

There are worse ways for a guy to spend his time

2003-09-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, let me describe the situation for you (like the perfect narrator that I am. And like the wonderful reader that you are, you can sit and listen). I'm sitting here in my REI t-shirt and Old Navy boxers, quite quietly sipping from my bottle of Berry White Jones Naturals. It's pretty warm right now, so I put an ice cube on top of an open bottle in my kitchen, in front of a window; I'm waiting for it to drop.

It's spirit Week. I found out about it last friday, but it mostly consists of people drawing posters pertaining to this year's theme: food. That, and we've got a rally on Friday, which I'm sure a whole bunch of people are going to be ditching. Someone painted a huge section of the glass that's in front of a hallway, and whenever the sun shines through, it shines green. All I can think about is someone scraping all of that paint off when Friday afternoon rolls around.
***
When George Martin was scoring A Hard Day's Night,
he said, "What is that note, John? Its been a hard day's
night and I've been work-? Is it the seventh?
Work-innnngggg?" John said, "Oh no, it's not that."
"Well is it workinnnggg?" He sings the sixth.
John said, "No." George said, "Well, it must be somewhere
in between them!" John said, "Yeah, man, write THAT down.
And's that what I love! That's what I find interesting about music!"
- quote from a book on the Beatles that I have

Anyways, in World Lit Mr. Johnson showed us these examples of paragraphs that were good, by his definition of the term. Keeping in mind that they were both excerpts from students' essays, the first one had a big fat A at the top of the page, but, even while looking past the grammatical errors, I didn't see what was so spectacular about it. Now, the second one got a B, and while it wasn't so great either, I felt it was miles ahead of the first one. He gave us this format for writing essays, which includes all these specific things that you're supposed to put in specific paragraphs. I understand that we're not exactly writing novelettes here, but shouldn't some creativity be promoted?! It doesn't just go for writing, either. Just like in the quote, spontaneity in any form is what keeps things interesting. We could probably agree that school isn't supposed to be interesting, but why the hell not, I ask!

In Modern World we're learning about the European Enlightenment, which is interesting (again, this is not sarcasm. It's hard to tell whether someone's being sarcastic when they describe something as interesting, but in this case, I'm not.) Anyways, it pertains to people beginning to branch out from the traditional ways of thinking and find new theories, such as the following: (and I quote from my notes) "As individuals, we use our rational minds to understand the laws of nature in order to affect change. Man is the changing agent. God created a machine-like universe and set it into motion and it operates according to natural laws." People before this time thought that God controlled every single thing that happened on earth, good or bad. (For the record, some people still think that. I generally try not to criticize people's beliefs, but what century are you living in, for chrissake?!) This sort of ties in with what I was saying before. If we didn't try to expand our knowledge a little, we'd still think that everything revolved around the earth. And while the knowledge that it doesn't isn't much in itself, if people were wrong about that, they could be wrong about a bunch of other things as well.

Enough of that. The homework is just waiting to be done. (On another note:
i feel really weird writing long essays or things like that shorthand. Damn you typing,
you've gotten the best of me.)
***
[listening to: Rilo Kiley - The Execution of All Things l lyrics]
mood: relieved

Moods don't command you if you don't know what you're going through.

2003-09-28T21:20:00.000-07:00

There's love for you up where the population grows.
There's friendly people in cities too,
just ask them where they are going to.
There's life and work up where the clouds meet the snow.

And I don't mind waiting. . .

I'm always one step ahead of you
if you don't know what you're going through.
There's laughs and fun up where the conversation flows.
And I don't mind waiting if it takes a long, long time.
I don't mind braving the coldest winter of our time.
I don't mind racing through our goodbyes.

This is your last line of defense.
You could sell your baseball cards just to pay your rent, yeah.

I don't mind waiting if it takes a long, long time.
And I don't mind wasting the best years of our lives.
And I don't mind racing through our goodbyes.

good NIGHT
***
[listening to: Rilo Kiley - Capturing Moods l lyrics]
mood: calm

facts vs. romance, you go and call yourself the boss

2003-09-28T16:40:00.000-07:00

but we're not robooots, inside a dream

I got back from doing my project for Spanish, which was surprisingly short enough that I could come back home and resume my nothing (it'd be good if noth was a word, hence the present tense form of it: nothing). Anyways, I stopped by Taco Bell/KFC on the way home and got a large popcorn chicken. They were wrong about it being "large" per se, but it was damn good, much better than before, when the amount of crunchy stuff was far larger than the actual amount of chicken. I feel like playing some Ken Griffey Jr. baseball, as I have no more homework or anything else to do today. I might put off my World Lit essay until Monday afternoon. Maybe I'll work better at the last minute. I'm not allowed to get any cd's this weekend, because I get one every weekend, they say. What am I supposed to do with my money? Invest?! I bet those five copies of Nada Surf's Let Go are still sitting at Borders, quietly waiting and wondering when I'll get there.

Anyways, I fixed up all my old posts; I fixed the italics so that they wouldn't mess up the right-side border, and all the archives links work now (with a spiffy pull-down menu, I might add). I don't understand how so much dust piles up everywhere in this house. It's supposed to be a large percent human skin, but places like the tops of high bookshelves (where nobody even touches, let alone leaves their fucking skin particles!) are covered with a thin layer of grime.
***

< vote

***
[listening to: Rilo Kiley - Science vs. Romance l lyrics]
mood: chipper

hands up Who thinks it's Now, home Base is the bathroom where the Lights are bright

2003-09-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Wooooshhhh. So it's been a month since the first post; what a milestone! Maybe milestone isn't really the correct term, but I'm excited nonetheless! Well, there've been 450 hits in 30 days, which makes it exactly 15 hits per day. May I say, that don't seem too shabby, considering that I haven't spent a cent on this site, just a lot of time. Oh, the hours I've spent on layouts, posts, etc. Yeah, maybe that doesn't sound so attractive if you say it out loud, but all I know is that I've done more typing during the past month than I have in any other of my life. Enough of that; who likes drawn-out celebrations, anyways?

A fog's rolling in off the East river bank Like a shroud it covers Bleecker
street Fills the alleys where men sleep Hides the sheperd from the sheep.
As Paul Simon so eloquently put into words, the fog is a strange happening. I'm not fully sure that I either love or hate it, but it's not necessary to go to either extreme, is it? Let's just say that it's both tolerable and intolerable at times. I figured out why the right border kept disappearing before. Whenever there were italics on the extreme right, the border on that side would suddenly go away, because I suppose the letters slanted a bit too far out. So it's now necessary for me to manually divide the text into smaller rows, that is, if I care about saving my magnificent right border.

Not much else to say, so please excuse the shortness of this post. I'd also address the absence of comments, but I figure nobody has anything interesting to say (fuckers!)! Okay, okay.
***

DeathDay 2.0 by quill18
Username
Die on	April 28, 2046
Die of	Car Accident
Value of Estate:	$2,206,932

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Hyperspace l lyrics]
mood: awake

I wasn't knocked out or anything, though,

2003-09-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

because I remember looking up from the floor and
seeing them both go out the door and shut it. Then I
stayed on the floor a fairly long time, sort of the way I
did with Stradlater. Only, this time I thought I was dying.
I really did. I thought I was drowning or something.
The trouble was, I could hardly breathe.
When I did finally get up,
I had to walk to the bathroom all doubled up
and holding onto my stomach and all.

But I'm crazy. I swear to God I am.
About halfway to the bathroom, I sort of
started pretending I had a bullet in my guts.
Old 'Maurice had plugged me.
Now I was on the way to the bathroom to get
a good shot of bourbon or something to
steady my nerves and help me really go into action.
I pictured myself coming out of the goddam bathroom,
dressed and all, with my automatic in my pocket,
and staggering around a little bit.
Then I'd walk downstairs, instead of using the elevator.
I'd hold onto the banister and all,
with this blood trickling out of the side of my mouth a little at a time.
What I'd do, I'd walk down a few floors--
holding onto my guts, blood leaking all over the place--
and then I'd ring the elevator bell.
As soon as old Maurice opened the doors,
he'd see me with the automatic in my hand and
he'd start screaming at me, in this very high-pitched,
yellow-belly voice, to leave him alone.
But I'd plug him anyway. Six shots right through his fat hairy belly.
Then I'd throw my automatic down the elevator shaft--
after I'd wiped off all the finger prints and all.
Then I'd crawl back to my room and call up
Jane and have her come over and bandage up my guts.
I pictured her holding a cigarette for me to smoke while I was bleeding and all.

The goddam movies. They can ruin you. I'm not kidding.
- excerpt from The Catcher In The Rye by J.D. Salinger
***
[listening to: Nada Surf - Hyperspace l lyrics]
mood: sleepy